Individual Snuggles

Tonight I decided to give each child about a half an hour of individual time.

My son finished his dinner early and came to me, where I was on the computer. He just wanted to sit on my lap, so I let him as we looked at old pictures of when he was an infant and just getting out of the toddler stage. He snuggled on my lap as we talked, laughed, and tickled each other.

It was good to not do anything on the computer except just spend time with my little man. After we looked at a bunch of pictures of various events of our lives, we sat on the bed and began reading in John 14. It's so great that my children love the Word of God. He snuggled in my lap as I read John 14, as he drifted sleepily to sleep.

Then, his sister came in. I asked her if she wanted me to continue reading in John and she said yes after she brushed her teeth. By now, her brother was nearly asleep. I began reading in John 15, where it talks about Jesus being the vine and we are the branches.

Throughout this chapter, I talked about what this chapter meant, having short discussions with my daughter. It was so nice. She was getting sleepy, too, so I ended on the 15th chapter of John, prayed over the kids and asked the kids what they were thankful for.

Something my kids and I do every day is do a "Thank you God . . . " list in the morning and evening, at least. I strongly believe in having a grateful heart. It takes the focus on things we want to complain about and onto God, sharing with Him what we are grateful for. His mercies are new every day.

By now, my son was asleep and I asked my daughter to come and lie down and put her head in my lap as I stroked her hair, singing to her. I sang her a bunch of Baptist hymns that I remembered. Funny, my church doesn't sing those hymns and I haven't been in a church in years that sings those hymns, but I remember their words as if they were plastered in front of me. Yet, I cannot remember the words of the songs we sing frequently over the past decade. Weird, eh?

Anyway, I just held my daughter and sang to her for about a half hour. She laughed as I sang "Victory in Jesus" and she thought the verse said "punched me into victory" instead of "plunged me into victory". I almost started to laugh to, but somehow refrained.

My daughter, when she was an infant and toddler, would love me to sing to her for hours. Yes, hours. It was very soothing to her. I miss those days and maybe I'll integrate some of them back -- not the hours, but maybe a half an hour here and there. I want to capture as many beautiful moments with my kids as I can.

Tonight was just a very sweet time with my kids. Thank you dear Papa!

Listening

There is a lot to write here, but I only have a few moments.

If we listen real closely, watch, we can often see that God IS answering our prayers. It may not be in how we want, but they are answers - Yes, No, Wait, or, I have something better in store. As I look at my business, my finances, my children, my beau, my family, friends, and the list goes on, I can see how there are times I'm glad God said, "NO" or "wait".

What I'm learning is God doesn't punish His children, rather he corrects and disciplines those whom He loves. I hate being forced into something, rather, I've been asking the Lord to be gentle with me. The past 3 years, it's been so harsh -- not because God is harsh, but the things that happened were harsh.

I've experienced God's great mercies and tenderness during those harsh times.

There are things in my life, maybe because my will or resolve is weak or just because I'm so fleshly and sinful, that are challenges for me. Yet, God so loves me and speaks so gently to me. I was reading in the Bible, in the Gospels yesterday and on a particular chapter. I was also finishing up on a book that made reference to that chapter. And, somewhere else I was reading or something referenced all those things, summing things up.

My son also chose to read in 2 Psalm that speak of the things God has been impressing upon my heart.

On top of that, He spoke through my beau on a portion of it where he heard it from the church he decided to try yesterday. Who says God doesn't work? He does. He totally speaks if we are willing to listen to Him.

All these coincidences? I think not.

Listen, watch. Be still. Be open to however God wants to communicate.

Children's Desires

One of the really wonderful things God has done in m life is give me children who desire to know Him. They do it differently, but they also feed off of each other. My 6-yr old son loves the Word of God. He wanted the same version that I have, a NIV, not a children's Bible.

I have a bunch of Bibles, so I gave him one of the new paperback NIVs I had a couple months back. He's been taking this to school some days to just read. I'm totally shocked and amazed, in a very pleasing way. God is so good. He's learning to not only read, but comprehend. The fact that he's doing this on his own really blesses me.

God is drawing my little son to Him. That is so very awesome. We get books regularly from the public library which each of my kids choose. He will read these books, but they don't really seem to interest him, rather, he just wants to read the Bible. He enthusiastically does this, and this has caused my daughter to want more of the Word, too.

My 9-yr old daughter is learning to love the Word, but it hasn't been like my son. However, what has interested my daughter s learning the various names of God, the names of Jesus. Just today, she asked me for some things she saw that I had. I have a prayer for the whole armour of God as well as a Daily Prayer Covering. She wanted me to print out copies for her.

She is excellent at memorizing and a fantastic reader. I asked her if she wanted some verses that I use and she said, "Yes." I gave her 2 pages and she was delighted. She got so excited as she read some of the verses, as those are some of the things that I pray over.

Thank you God for my children.

Controlling Your Temper

One of the Fruit of the Spirit is Self-Control. I was curious quite some time ago why it was Fruit of the Spirit, rather that "Fruits". Is it an aspect of the Holy Spirit? Needless to say, it is an aspect of a Christian's life.

Not that I've had a horrible temper or something most would deem as horrible to many, but it feels for me out-of-control. When my husband left us, and I was alone to raise 2 young kids, the feeling of distress and anger greatly overwhelmed me. In the past, I was used to going to the gym to workout my anger & frustrations, or any of those negative feelings. Heck, I used exercise to even expound on good feelings.

The Bible says that LOVE is not easily angered. There is a righteous anger also that is good. But, when we take anger too far, unwilling to forgive, allowing it to turn to bitterness or rage, that's not good.

Today began with a series of things from incessant whining. Perhaps I haven't put the boundary on my 6-yr old son firm enough that whining, complaining, murmuring, manipulation are not good forms of resolving issues. He often stomps his feet when he's displeased with something. At first it seemed cute a few months ago, but now, later, it is anything but cute.

As he started off this morning with the feet stomping rather than asking for help, it just got worse from there, leading to my having to discipline him. It's never fun to discipline and I will do everything I can to not have to discipline, but sometimes that is the only thing that will get his attention.

As a series of things went wrong in my business, dealing with other companies & personnel, I was left very frustrated. As I continued my dealings and feelings of frustration mounting, I did my best to maintain my composure. Honestly, I don't remember if I asked God to help me or not, but He did. God never fails.

However, as I multi-tasked between doing my work, helping out another person, helping each of my kids do their homework, both of which were having different issues -- on the phone, on my computer, each kid needing my time, I felt completely overwhelmed. On top of that, this lingering cough being so bothersome didn't add to things.

As I sent my kids to bed angrily, after having to discipline twice in short period of time due to their continued disobedience, as well as sloppiness in doing their homework, I really was fed up. This isn't the prettiest picture, but as I briefly took a minute to go to the bathroom, I realized it was the enemy that was wreaking havoc from the get go with my son, my business stuff, my daughter, my beau, and many of the people I was coming in contact with this day.

I began praying a prayer of rebuke against the enemy and asking God to come in and to reign His peace over this household. I began to take spiritual authority over things. I'm not sure if I feel a peace at the moment, but I know I have spiritual authority in Jesus Christ over any demonic agents sent to mess with us.

Thank you God that I did not curse anyone, or use foul language. Those are some things I have done in the past when angry, but as I relinquish all of me, including my mouth, every feeling that I'm experiencing and just giving everything for God to deal with, afterall, it's His battle, not mine, then He can come in and do what He does best -- be God.

Patience isn't developed in the absence of conflict & frustrations, but it's when we are in those trying times and CHOOSE to exercise patience is when those muscles are strengthened.

I called my children back and had us go to the Word of God and began reading in Psalm. We prayed, did our gratitudes. It probably would've helped if we sang some love songs to God, to really get recentered on Him. Lord, be Lord of our lives.

Names Of God

They say that the most beautiful word that one hears is one's own name. As I ponder this thought, I think about God. God has many names, 80 names, I believe, in the Bible other than "God" or "Lord".

The names that I'm most familiar with are:

• Jehovah Jireh = The Lord My Provider (Gen. 22:14)
• Jehovah Rophe = The Lord Our Healer (Ex. 15:26)
• Elohim = God, the Strong Creator (Gen. 1:1)
• Jehovah = Lord, The Self-Existing One (Gen. 2:4)
• El Shaddai = Almighty God (Gen. 17:1, 2)
• El Elyon = The Most High God (Gen. 14:18)
• Jehovah Nissi = The Lord My Banner (Ex. 17:15)
• Jehovah Mauzzi = The Lord My Fortress (Jer. 16:19)

When the kids and I are in need of healing, I call out to Jehovah Rophe, as He IS the Lord who Heals. How pleased God must be to hear His children call Him by name.

A month or so ago, I had printed out a number of sheets of things like the Names of God, the Names of Jesus, Numbers & Their Biblical Meanings and a host of other useful things that I'm learning. This packet of papers I had were sitting on my bed. My 9-yr old daughter plopped on my bed and began reading some of the pages of my packet.

Next thing you know, she asked me if it was alright if she took the pages of the Names of God and the Names of Jesus. I said it would be alright, sort of expecting that she would lose them. But, amazingly enough, she's been taking time to learn some of these names, and, as a result, I'm learning some new names of God.

One of the things Jesus says in Luke is to have the little children come to Him because He wants to bless children. There is something about a child's great faith that is pure and lovely, not marred with skepticism, doubt or logic. They just believe. This isn't every child for everything, but children in general.

My heart leapt when my daughter expressed interest to learn the names of God. I thought it would be me that inspires her, rather it is her energy, her draw to know God better this way with her gift of learning & memorization that is encouraging me.

This morning, as my daughter was talking about this with her little 6-yr old brother, he got excited about these names and asked if I could print out both sheets, but as well as Numbers and Their Biblical Meanings.

Last night, as my kids and I spent family time, which is comprised of giving our list of gratitudes to God, prayer, Bible time, and sometimes Praise/Worship, the kids began asking what different numbers mean. It was totally great. Admittedly, I was too lazy to look up the meanings of some of the numbers I did not know, but only told them the numbers I did not.

My kids remembered what we did the night before and made sure they got the information this morning. Praise be to God for children who have a desire to know Him. He is Jehovah El Elohim (The Lord God of Gods - Josh. 22:22).

So, the kids and I together are beginning to learn the names of God so we can better connect with Him, identify with our Lord.

The Brevity of Life

The Lord has impressed upon me the past few weeks the brevity of life. Just little things I've read that really hit home about someone's life tragically, unexpectantly ending - just doing a normal thing and then poof, it's gone.

Live life to the fullest and one cannot live to the fullest truly without Jesus Christ. We can risk it all, but for what? The vanity of life.

As I look back in some areas, sometimes I wished I would've done this or that. Perhaps like traveled around the world more before I had children, wasn't afraid to get help for my "issues", wasn't afraid to open up to people, wasn't afraid to love, living with all these constraints that I thought would give me a fulfilled life, but didn't.

I'm not going to love unless . . .

I'm not going to be happy unless . . .

I'm not going to wear this dress unless . . .

All these conditions. What if those things never happen? Life is too short. Wear that dress. So what if it's a little out there. We choose to be happy. You can choose to be happy even if the circumstances do not dictate it.

I fell in love with a man that I wasn't expecting to. He was very much many things I wanted, and in other ways, he isn't. Will this end in me being hurt? Maybe, maybe not. But, at least I got to experience what it's like to fall in love and to have it reciprocated. Whether there is hurt or not, I get this opportunity to experience this wonderful thing of being in love and I get to learn.

We have but this one life -- I want a purposeful life built on Christ, inspite of all my imperfections. As I shared with a friend recently, David was a man after God's own heart. He was far from perfect and even purposefully committed some pretty grievous sins. But, it was his acknowledgement and repentent heart that God saw and it spoke to God's own heart.

I've made so many mistakes in my life that on the one hand isn't funny, but it is. What have I learned? How has it changed me?

I love greatly, but loving greatly means it opens me up for more chances of being hurt, or perhaps, it gives me a greater capacity to love more people where they are. What do you think?

Life is short. Love greatly.