This evening I cried for a friend, for her sadness and grief, as I also prayed for her and joined with her in her questions and heartache. Why does God allow suffering? What happens when we pray for good things and they don't happen? What are we to do when bad things upon bad things keep on happening?
I definitely don't have all the answers, or maybe even any answers, rather all I can share are my experiences and what God has done in my life, and how He has changed me through my own heartaches, suffering, and hardships.
There are countless bad things that have happened to me over the past 7 yrs and it seemed that at every turn, more bad things were happening. I remember so clearly asking God to restore my marriage. Afterall, God ordains marriage, right? How can asking for that be wrong? It didn't happen. God gives free will and though it was something I wanted, my husband did not want to be married to me. God wasn't going to force his hand at it. My marriage ended.
My home gone. My retirement gone. My savings gone. My dogs that I had since puppies who were old gone. My vehicles (most) gone. My career gone. My identity gone.
I cried and I cried. It seemed like the tears would never end. I kept crying and couldn't stop. People prayed. I cried so much I would've thought all that water that I had lost would've helped me to be thinner. I cried some more.
I begged God and asked Him why? But, amidst all my tears, every day I learned to humbly come before God and just thank Him for stuff in my life. Every day through this journey over the past 5+ yrs, I have entered into the courts of the Lord to praise Him amidst the steady stream of tears flowing from my face.
My God is not a cruel, heartless God that desires to see me suffer and scoffs at that. But, through my tears, they soften the clay and allows God to mold me more into the image of His Son Jesus Christ.
Do you see His face in me? None of our tears are wasted. God is good ALL the time. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, my children and I are loved beyond measure.
He loves you, too. Do you know my Jesus?
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