Tuesday, October 10, 2017

When You Rise Up - Chapter 4 - Parenting 101


Valley of Fire State Park, Nevada (2015)

1.  Share your observations about how parents in our culture today try to be a pal rather than the parent.  What problems do you see with this approach to parenting?

I think it brings a lot of confusion into our kids' lives.  They don't truly understand about healthy boundaries, or negative consequences for wrong choices.  We see a lot of entitlement in our society and you don't have to work for or earn anything.  Just because you exist is enough and it isn't.

2.  How does forgiving your own parents (or others who have hurt you) help you as a parent?  Consider the following verses as you answer this questions.
  • Ephesians 4:26-27 - 26 “When you are angry, don’t let that anger make you sin,”[a] and don’t stay angry all day.27 Don’t give the devil a way to defeat you. (ERV)
    • When we don't forgive, roots of bitterness grow deep within us.  Then we do things that aren't good out of that bitterness, with a seething anger.  So many awful things and some people commit awful crimes because of unforgiveness.  We won't live this life without being wronged.  And forgiving doesn't absolve what was done, but it's releasing the bad ties to that person and letting God deal with that person.  If we do not release forgiveness, this gives the devil a way to work and attack our lives.
  • Colossians 3:12-13 - 12 God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So your new life should be like this: Show mercy to others. Be kind, humble, gentle, and patient.13 Don’t be angry with each other, but forgive each other. If you feel someone has wronged you, forgive them. Forgive others because the Lord forgave you. (ERV)
    • No matter what, our kids will wrong us many times.  They will infuriate us, but we need to continually forgive them and be an example to them about forgiveness and restoration (where possible).  It teaches our kids not to be prideful, because forgiveness, as I see it, is a humbling thing.  This all points to Jesus and that we do not have control of others.
  • Hebrews 12:14-15 - 14 Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord. 15 Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many. (HCSB)
    • God is love and peace, even though He is a God who also judges.  But first He is love.  The devil has no love.  He is selfish, prideful, arrogant and filled with destruction.  If we allow God's love to dwell in us, eventually, by the grace of God, others will see this and want this in their lives. 
3.  Read Ephesians 6:1-4 - Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (NIV)
  • What instructions are given to children in this passage?
    • Children are to obey their parents, to honor them.
  • Name 2 or 3 observations you make in regard to parents' responsibilities in these same four verses.
    • As parents we are to teach our kids, to discipline them, correct them, but not in such a harsh manner that it causes them to be discouraged, angry, bitter.  
  • Why do you think Paul included this teaching to the church in Ephesus?  What do you think prompted this?
    • Families are so important and are the backbone of any society.  Without strong families, societies are weak.  He's encouraging all parts of the family - not just children, but also parents.
4.  Share some successes that you have had as a mom in having fun with your children without sacrificing your parenting principles with your children?

We have gone on many trips together that are super fun, as well as hiking and many other outings.  We never have to worry about our kids acting up or not obeying because we work on those things at home so when we are out, it's smooth going and an enjoyable time for all.

5. Hopefully you can laugh about some of the things that your children have said and done.  Share a funny parenting store that you have experienced.  Why is laughter important to being a good parent?

When my daughter was maybe 3-4 yrs old and my son was a baby, we were in church.  We had taught our daughter to say AMEN after prayers.  The pastor was praying a bit long and had stopped, or a long pause.  My daughter thought he was done and shouted, AMEN!  I told her he wasn't done.  But she refused to stop saying AMEN!!  She kept shouting AMEN and I had to take her out of service.  That was really funny (well, not at the time) and I could hear some people laughing.

6.  What was the most helpful or encouraging to you as a mom in this chapter?  Share your insights.

Not forgiving could have awful consequences that manifest in bad ways later in our lives.  So we must forgive.
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