Thurs, 5-Jan-2012 -- Would It Matter

This morning I feel a mixture of intense sadness and joy.  Joy that I get to live another day and share it with some of the people that I love, that I get to take another breath freely.  Sadness as last night a local media personality died along with his wife.  It is suspected that it was a murder-suicide.  Bill Heywood has been around a very long time.

This song is by Skillet, one of my favorite groups (I have quite a few of them), called "Would It Matter".  Some of the lyrics say "If I wasn't here tomorrow, would anybody care?  If my time was up, I would like to know, you were happy I was.  If I wasn't here tomorrow, would anyone lose sleep?"  The lyrics are a bit depressing, and as I think about Skillet's songs, though I love the actual music, a lot of their lyrics are pretty somber and hard.

Bill is the second media person in the past 3 months I've learned that has been involved in a suicide that was successful.  And, there have been a number of other people that I've read, or seen their pictures, or heard of that has committed suicide.  Each of these people are making a choice to end their lives because they saw no hope, no way out.

I don't know any of these people personally, but my heart weeps for them, tears flow from my face as I mourn their choice, a choice they can never take back. 

Did you know that there is always someone, at least one person that loves you?  That's Jesus.  With Him, even if things are so incredibly dim, there is hope.  Did you know my Jesus.  Did you know there is hope?  I guess you didn't because you chose the wrong way out.  It wasn't your time.

Today as I stopped at Staples to pick up a few office supplies, I vaguely remember the blonde cashier.  She asked me if it was okay to give me all 5's back as change.  I don't remember what she looked like.  She was just a person that momentarily dotted my life.  Bill Heywood was just a voice on the radio, but today I shed tears for him and his wife.

That girl at Staples, I wonder if she knows that she's loved?  I wonder the faces in the cars that zoom past me on the freeway, have they lost their hope? 

Tomorrow the sun will come up again.  Another day.  How do we view it?  Do you still have hope no matter how bad things are?  Will you make a choice that can never be changed?  Know that you are loved, that Jesus loves you and that He cares.

Let me know how I can pray for you.