Tuesday, September 26, 2017

When You Rise Up: Chapter 3 - Who's In Control?


Boyce Arboretum, Superior, AZ (2013)
1.  Share one positive quality that you respect about your husband.  This can be anything.  But it needs to be positive and honoring.

My husband is consistent with correction and discipline while I am forgetful and inconsistent.  Though, with his help and God's, I am becoming more consistent.

2.  How does God's view of women, as discussed in this chapter, encourage you as you consider His command for wives to respect and follow your husband's leadership?  How should this change the way you understand your role and responsibility to support your husband?

God views women equal to men in terms of value.  No more, no less.  This means no matter what, we are to obey God and God gives husbands the leadership role.  My role is just as important in being my husband's helpmate.  No marriage can have two ultimate leaders.  Especially when I disagree, I need to relinquish the control to my husband.  God will honor this even if my husband is wrong.

3.  While we may disagree with our husbands on different issues, what do these verses say to us about the way we are to treat him whether we agree or not?  Discuss your answers.
  • Romans 12:9-10  - Better to be an ordinary person with a servant than to be self-important but have no food.  The godly care for their animals, but the wicked are always cruel.
    • It's better to humble ourselves than to be prideful.  We are to humble ourselves to our husbands, especially when we think we're right and disagree.  It's better to obey God than do what we want. (NLT)
  • Galatians 5:25-26 - If we live by the Spirit, let us also [a]walk by the Spirit. Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another. (NASB)
    • We are to remain humble, obeying God.  Allow the Holy Spirit to direct us, not our fleshly desires.
  • Ephesians 4:31-32 - 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence]. 32 Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave [a]you. (AMP)
    • We are to forgive, not allow ourselves to get bitter, angry.  Submit our emotions to the Lord.  We're to be kind and helpful.  This is extremely challenging but I found when I submit my emotions to the Lord, repent, bind the enemy and kick him out, the Lord reigns in my attitude.
4.  How can we encourage our husbands to follow his God-given leadership, but not act as his Holy Spirit or his mother, but as his helper and friend?

We can not nag, have a nice tone of voice, a pleasant, genuine attitude, be kind and caring.  We are to be interested and respectful when he has to make the final decisions.  We can ask if he wants to hear inputs and not try to control the situation, but allow his word to be final without holding grudges, trusting that God will work everything out in the end.

5.  Look up each verse and consider what insights they offer to encouraging your husband in his leadership role.
  • Proverbs 15:28 - Prayerful answers come from God-loyal people; the wicked are sewers of abuse. (MSG)
    • Continually pray for my husband, but don't allow myself to say mean, discouraging, hateful, disrespectful things to him.
  • Proverbs 16:21-24 - Anyone with a wise heart is called discerning, and pleasant speech increases learning.22 Insight is a fountain of life for its possessor, but the discipline of fools is folly.  23 A wise heart instructs its mouth and increases learning with its speech. 24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb:  sweet to the taste[c] and health to the body. (HCSB)
    •  Be disciplined with what I say and say things gently, considering my husband and where he is.  Don't be harsh, but use a good tone of voice that shows him respect.  Use respectful speech.  Sometimes say nothing if it needs be.  Love my husband in the way he needs to be loved and then possibly God will help change his heart to listen to me.
  • Romans 12:16-18 - 16 - Live in harmony with one another.Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[a] Do not be conceited. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil.Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (NIV)
    • Don't need to have my way, but really trust God despite whatever decisions my husband makes.  Don't be prideful, but be willing to forgive as well as ask for forgiveness.  Have a change of heart and truly trust God that no matter what decisions my husband makes, God's will for our lives will be done.  Don't be prideful and even if my husband is vengeful towards me, show him love and kindness instead.  Live peaceably and learn to communicate in a manner that touches my husband's mind,  heart, and soul and that's by treating my husband the way God wants me to treat him - well, respectful.
  • 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 - 16 - Always be joyful.17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. (NLT)
    • Even when situations don't seem joyful, joy does not come from our circumstances, rather on God.  Continue always to pray in good and bad times, because the devil wants us to be lazy.  And even when things are bad, be thankful for what God is doing because in due time, He will make things right.  God is always in control and He has His purpose for allowing or doing things.
6.  Share one thought or verse that impacted you most from this lesson.

Proverbs 16:24 - I am sometimes too direct and need to keep a reign on my mouth until the words I use are sweet to the taste, but truthful and loving, kind.  This is a huge challenge, but God is making progress in me.
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