There are some areas of my life that are really super fantastic, far beyond what I could ever imagine things being in a good way. Then, there are other things where it's just been way worse than I had ever thought.
There were moments in the past couple months where I thought this was changing for me, this one particular area. But, it seems probably not or maybe I'm looking at things with too much of a magnifying glass.
Yes, I've heard the stories where people try time after time until they get it right, but when it deals with matters of the heart, it doesn't make sense and that's much different.
I allowed my heart to feel for just a moment and it turned out super painful. I don't feel like screaming, just crying. Yet, I know God hears my heartache and my plea. It's been for a long time. And, I don't know if I will see it in this lifetime or not. Not trying to be melodramatic.
If it's meant to be, it will. If it's not, then it won't. You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to. They have to be willing, even if it takes all their courage.
This month in my Single Moms' group, our memory verse is found in Psalm 27:14. I dont' know what translation, but I'm guessing something like King James (KJV). "Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord."
How did God know that I would need this verse and to memorize it, which I did well more than a week ago?
I'm to wait on God for His timing in all things, no matter how much I want it to happen NOW! It takes courage to make right decisions and I don't know that that courage is really me, rather Christ who lives in me.
God says He will strengthen my heart. Being an avid exerciser my whole adult life, strengthening oneself takes consistency & discipline, and often going through periods of unpleasantness. Guess that's where I am at, feeling super unpleasant with a breaking heart. I long for it to be different.
Funny that verse says to wait on God. It repeats itself and when verses or chapters of the Bible do that, the author is stressing it. Guess the author, most likely David, knew that a human being has issues with waiting. We are impatient.
I would really love for things to be different on just 2 points, but they are pretty big. If they aren't right, then it just isn't right. Just going to wait to see what God does . . . however He chooses to do things.
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