ENTITLEMENT Does NOT Produce a Gentle & Quiet Spirit

Abandoned Car at the Petrified Forest

For the past two years, I have been going nearly weekly to EMDR therapy, which is professional counseling.  Nearly 2 years ago I had a panic attack that I thought was a heart attack.  Thankfully it was not a heart attack.  It was confirmed that my physical heart is in great condition, but the internal, subconscious workings of my mind were very stressed out and in need of great care.

We started out addressing the anxiety I felt with having a job that was stressful for little pay.  My husband a couple months before got hired on full-time as a software engineer working for a Native American government.  They loved him as a contractor and ended up not only paying him what they paid him as a contractor, but gave him 33% above that salary along with full benefits.  That more than made up for the need for my salary and my husband encouraged me to quit my job, which I did within a few weeks of my panic attack.

Since I'd never had a panic attack before, it really felt like a heart attack and it was an awful feeling.  Through these past years, I've addressed with my therapist who is also a strong Christian, many issues I've had that were very deep rooted.  EMDR is a therapy that addresses balancing the left and right hemispheres of the brain that have been traumatized making one hemisphere of the brain continually more over reactive than it ought to be by emotionally reliving traumas, or what you as the individual perceives as traumas.

A trauma could be anything from a little 4 yr old dropping an ice cream cone, her perception of devastation to victims of crimes like rape or war or experiencing murder, etc.  There is the whole gambit.  Because I've done EMDR at two other times in my life, and have been doing EFT for 16 yrs, I have become more attuned to stuff that many people do not notice.  However, there are still things I do not notice unless pointed out to me.  It's all a learning process.

I am grateful to my husband for allowing me to go to these weekly private EMDR therapy sessions, as they are costly.  But, we are seeing good results and more results as time goes by with changes in how I view and do things.  I don't believe talk therapy alone is effective.  And there are many therapies that prescribe medication for which I am not a proponent of usually.  It just masks the roots of the issues and doesn't allow you to get in touch with these things and thus, you continue to live in this state of trauma unless you're medicated.

We've also recently been using acupuncture to address some emotional issues.  Prayer, of course, is the biggest component to all this and for the Holy Spirit to reveal the areas that need to be addressed.  If God wanted to heal me instantly, He can.  BUT, He hasn't.  It's been good that God hasn't instantly healed me because it's forcing me to work through the process of healing and seeing gradual changes as I take actions each week.

For quite a few months now, I've been plagued with a re-addiction to Dr. Pepper.  I've prayed about it so many times, done EFT, and we've addressed quite a few things in EMDR, and we've also one time used some acupuncture.  BUT, to no avail.  However, yesterday's session with my EMDR therapist sparked something that hasn't been sparked in our sessions.  I told her while her doing EMDR on me, I heard the Holy Spirit tell me the root of my anger, frustrations, etc had been coming from the fact that my spirit was not gentle nor quiet, and that God wanted to cultivate a gentle & quiet spirit within me.

What the heck, I was thinking?  In 1 Peter 3:3-5 it says,

• 3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; (NIV)

As part of the Titus 2 Bible study for the past 9 months, I've learned a lot and gained a lot in my walk with God as a woman, wife, and mother.  Why wasn't my spirit gentle and quiet?  It came down to ENTITLEMENT - one's right.  We live in an entitlement culture and society.  And whether you are truly entitled or not, people have continually asserted that you are entitled.  

When you are entitled, you have a different mindset than humbly laying down what you are entitled to.  It is a prideful, selfish attitude.  Look around at all the protests, at all the people who assert themselves.  They say they are doing it for the greater good, but it's not true.  It's very selfish, prideful, aggressive, bullying, destruction, disrespectful, haughty, self-serving.  You must call a spade a spade.  There is no agree to disagree.  It's only one way or all hell breaks loose.

Yes, you got your degree or you have the work experience, but that doesn't mean any company is entitled to give you a job.  You may be a woman, but that doesn't entitle you to become the President of the United States.  You may have given birth to 8 children, but that doesn't entitle you to getting help from anyone.  You may have worked really hard on your project, but that doesn't entitle you to a good grade or that your project will work.  Life IS and can be quite unfair.

My husband commented yesterday that he's been noticing that around the 5-8 pm every day lately, I've been a grouch and ready to start a fight, or just meanly sarcastic.  I've been working to quit drinking Dr. Pepper and maybe without it, that was my 'go to' or crutch, like some women have a glass of wine or two or three each day or men grabbing a few beers to sit in front of the boob tube.  

The Lord has been convicting me that though I may not say anything verbally, my curt attitude, sharp, cutting remarks as well as body language, they all show that my inward attitude is not real good.  Why?  Sometimes I feel like I'm not appreciated or taken for granted, and that I am ENTITLED to be appreciated.  As I've cultivated this attitude with the secret conversations in my head, this has also been tending to the Garden of Entitlement in my mind and creating a spirit that is argumentative, easily offended, bitter, and resentful.  Definitely no signs of a gentle and quiet spirit.

It says in 1 Peter 3:3-5 that God greatly values and finds precious a GENTLE & QUIET SPIRIT.  How do you cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit?

1.  Think on Right Things.  

Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." (NIV)

2.  Discipline Your Thoughts.  

2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "5 and every high-minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ." (HCSB)

3.  Meditate & Memorize Bible Verses.

Psalm 119:11 says, "Your Word I have treasured and stored in my heart, That I may not sin against You." (AMP)

4.  Repent For Sins That Come to Mind and Get Healing For The Sin Trauma

2 Corinthians 7:9-10 says, "⁹ But now I am happy—not because I made you sad, but because your sadness made you change your ways. That sadness was used by God, and so we caused you no harm. ¹⁰ For the sadness that is used by God brings a change of heart that leads to salvation—and there is no regret in that! But sadness that is merely human causes death." (GNT)

James 5:16 says, "16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored. The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) can accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God—it is dynamic and can have tremendous power]." (AMP)

1 Peter 2:24 says, "24 Christ carried our sins in his body on the cross. He did this so that we would stop living for sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you were healed." (ERV)

5.  Take Authority in Jesus' Name Over Thoughts Over the Demonic

Luke 10:19 says, "19 Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you." (NLT)

Just like anything you want to be successful at, you must discipline yourself to do the things that it takes to be successful.  You must find your Why and Purpose for this success.  It must own you.  And you must get rid of things that impede your success.  True and lasting success is not easy, but well worth it.

If outwardly we show a smile and keep our tongue from spewing out bad things, eventually the things of our heart that are hidden will come out.  Jeremiah 17:9-10 says, "The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out.  But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind.  I get to the heart of the human.  I get to the root of things.  I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be.” (MSG)

And I love what Ezekiel 36:26 says, "²⁶ And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."  (NLT)

If we allow God to change our heart by changing the things we continually think about, which changes our actions, then our attitudes will also change as we begin to do things God's way, then we will see through God's eyes other people. How amazing and transformed our lives will be for the better.

Let your outside be consistent with your inside.