Manifestations

I don't usually share this in Christian circles too much because it sounds New Ageish (sp?), but I will here in this blog.  It is my understanding that who we are on the inside manifests itself on the outside.  If you have a hole in your life caused by lots of hurt & shame, and you've not received healing for this, then most likely you will continue to allow those patterns of hurt & shame into your life.

One of those areas of hurt and shame in my life were my choices of the wrong men.  I have been seriously analyzing this for over a year now and making HUGE changes here.  How can you make changes unless you see areas that need changing?  God has really opened my eyes to many lies I had believed, but also living in, perpetuating repeatedly.  Not a good thing.

Recently I had a man come into my life fairly briefly.  Didn't get a chance to really get to know him, but through the course of some longer communications in a short timeframe, I got to learn he fits many of the qualities I desire in my future husband.  Some of those qualities are superficial, but others were not.  He did not, however, fulfill the #1 criteria and that was to have such a deep, intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

This man is at a point in his life where he is ready for a real relationship, and I am not.  I wanted to be whole & complete financially.  Some of the logistics of things that I thought would be issues, I now realize with him, they probably would not be.  It was whether I was ready or not, and my availability. 

He had the courtesy to talk with me, to clear things up and to tell me where he was and where he thought I was.  It was me.  And, since we were both clear aobut what we wanted, and things didn't align, why waste time?  It takes maturity to want something that you really want, and to walk away from it because it isn't in the long-term best interest of anyone.

Human nature is to go for that thing that is temporarily pleasurable and not think about the long-term consequences.  This guy didn't do that, nor did he make any excuses to "let me down" or to try to pursue me to conquer me. 

I wondered and asked God not too long ago whether the direction I was taking in my stance and position with men and relationships was the right one.  He answered it with this guy and showed me there are some incredible men out there who can be and are interested in me.  Okay, timing is slightly off, but this gives me hope that there are emotionally mature, caring, financially responsible and successful men that are available.

God is so very good.