The Intentional Woman: Intentional Faith - Chapter 17

Monarch Butterfly at Boyce Arboretum

1.  Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading this chapter.  What was notable to you from the reading?
There was so much in this chapter as she talked about Blasphemy, Holiness, Faith, Trust, Submission, Putting our Hope in Jesus, Girding our Minds, Not to Conform to This World, Be Sober in Spirit.  I think the 2 things that really stuck out to me were Holiness and Girding our Minds.  I'm finding when I can take control of my thoughts and make them obey Christ, things go WAY better than if I just let them run a muck.

This past weekend, I really intentionally focused on this despite physically not feeling well and the Lord just blew me away with how my husband responded.  A soft answer DOES turn away potential wrath, thwarts arguments.  Also, having good body posture that is inviting and friendly is a part of how one responds, as well as quietly with a gentle spirit doing things.  It was a super busy weekend and there was so much to do.

In my spirit I was quiet and gentle (1 Peter 3:4).  I did not entertain any voices of complaining, whining, or pity party (2 Corinthians 10:5).  I focused on the tasks at hand with a cheerful attitude and though I was feeling physically in some pain and like I was starting to come down with something, a merry heart does a body good (Proverbs 17:22).

Having a Christlike attitude without telling my husband, but showing it quietly through the whole weekend really made him take notice.  He made several comments about this in a god way and that made him feel really respected and loved.  Thank you, God!



2.  Describe how your faith in God is demonstrated in your marriage relationship?  In your mothering?  Are there any areas where you have been convicted to be obedient?

As I spend daily time in God's Word, time in prayer, especially on my knees, God is doing some really awesome things.  He's transforming how I see others and seeing them more through His eyes.  Wanting change in others begins with changes in my own life.   My kids and husband are way more responsive when I'm being intentionally calm in how I communicate rather than yelling.

God has convicted since last week that my spirit was not gentle and quiet, so I've been allowing God to work on me in that and I'm seeing some pretty good, positive results.  It's given me power to endure through some long days filled with lots of stuff to do with a godly attitude.

Also, I've been doing a lot of SOAKING in prayer and this has been quite amazing and transforming.



3.  How is disobedience to God's commandments unloving, dishonoring and even blasphemous to the Lord?

It means that we are evilly doing things and that's not good.



4.  In what areas of your life are you like the father with the demon-possessed son, who said to Jesus, "I believe!  Help my unbelief!"

Since I can be a fairly high strung person, to have a quiet, gentle spirit seems so far-fetched.  I definitely cannot do it in my own human power and need the Dunamis, Resurrection power of the Holy Spirit.


5.  From 1 Peter 1:13-16 (13 Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. 14 As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15 But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”) write out your own application of these faith action steps.  How will you be obedient strengthening the faith of your calling as a wife, mother and woman of God?

• I will gird my mind for action by . . . only entertaining thoughts that please God.
• I will keep sober in my spirit by . . . by not entertaining entitlement mindsets & thoughts.
• I will fix my hope in God by . . . memorizing Scripture to remind me of God's promises.
• I will not conform to the world by . . . taking a lazy way to do things, rather I will take God's way.
• I will be holy in my behavior by . . . really listening to others, praying about my responses, and doing things in kindness & love.

MAKING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter.  What personal lessons concerning Intentional Faith will you apply in your own life?  How will you be more intentional as a woman of God?

I'm going to continue when I sleep to do SOAKING stuff as I'm finding this really healing.  But, I am going to Intentionally LISTEN to others without having to interject my own opinions and thoughts.  And, I'm going to continue to destroy every conversation in my head that with the Power & Authority of Jesus Christ that is ungodly, that tells me I am entitled, and humbly lay down my rights so that I can see true transformation take place in my life and then others, too.

The Intentional Woman: Mary: Seeing God - Chapter 13

1.  Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading this chapter.  What was notable to you from the reading?

Mary had favor with God because she had childlike faith to trust God.  Though the whole thing was so strange and bizarre, I bet she knew God's Word very well and hid it in her heart so that she could rely on it during her many times of probably worry and anxiety.  What she was going to go through and did never happened to another human being ever and never will.  I have a long way to go in my faith and relationship with God to have this kind of faith.  I am awestruck at the woman, wife, and mother she was to have gone through all this.  So many things to learn from her.

2.  In what ways did Mary demonstrate purity of motive, message and modesty in her life?  (You may want to review the definitions of purity from the previous chapter)

Mary could have questioned God and refused to have faith.  I mean, who was she to listen to a kid (Jesus), but she did.  I'm sure at time Mary was frustrated with Jesus as all mothers can be with their own children.  I have been.  The Bible doesn't talk about this too much other than she worried about Jesus and some of what He did.

It's a challenge for me to truly understand purity of motive.  But the modesty, I'm sure in that day as well as in all ages, women can talk and gossip.  For her not to complain and gossip, keeping a tight reign on her mouth must have meant she had a super close relationship with God and really a complete trust, even though she could not see what God was doing.  She kept the big picture in mind, which I believe helped her stay the course and make good decisions in her life, as well as that of her family.

3.  Though Mary's spiritual journey was one-of-a-kind, in what ways were her faith lessons like ours?

We can't see the full path ahead of us, or sometimes even the steps.  The end goal we see.  We will be with Jesus in Heaven.  But all the stuff between now and Heaven?  That can be quite challenging and we must rely on God the whole way.  When we take our eyes off our Creator, then that's when we have fear, make wrong decisions, and a host of other bad things.

There will be sorrow and pain, but it's all for a greater purpose.

4.  Growing in purity opens our eyes to see God working, but sometimes we encounter spiritual blindness in our lives.  What can you learn about spiritual blindness from these Scriptures?

Deuteronomy 16:19 - You must never twist justice or show partiality. Never accept a bribe, for bribes blind the eyes of the wise and corrupt the decisions of the godly. (NLT)

We all can have biases and we must guard against this.  Ask God to reveal to use what we are blind in and make things right.

2 Corinthians 4:4 - among them the god of this world [Satan] has blinded the minds of the unbelieving to prevent them from seeing the illuminating light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. (AMP)

It is Satan that causes the blindness, but God can remove it if we ask God to.  We should see clearly and do what is right in God's eyes, but if we can't see that we are in the wrong, then we can't admit that we are wrong.  God must open our eyes, but He won't do it unless we ask.

Ephesians 4:17-18 - ¹⁷ So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking.¹⁸ They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. (NIV)

Man's way of thinking is contrary to God's.  We must test and see if what we are doing is what God desires.  We must read, study the Bible and gain better understanding to see how our actions, thoughts, words all compare to God's Word.  Continually living in purposeful, sinful ways hardens our hearts and that does not draw us closer to God.

1 John 2:11 - But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes. (NASB)

God is love, so if we don't love others, then how can we say God is in us?  However, God in love also corrects and disciplines, so if there are other people committing sins against us and God, those aren't to be excused.  We are to confront others in love.  That is quite challenging for me, at least with some people.

Psalm 146:8 -  The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.  The Lord lifts up those who are weighed down.  The Lord loves the godly. (NLT)

The Blind can see and be healed, if we would reach out and truly ask Jesus to heal us.  I know I can be so blind in so many things, but I know God is restoring my sight and that I am to walk in this sight, not spiritual blindness.

5.  In what areas of your life do you need to see God?  Is there some area of spiritual blindness that keeps you from seeing God in your life?

I think I have spiritual blindness in God's ability to use me to make money, and for evangelism.  I need God so much in these areas.

MAKING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter.  What personal lessons from Mary's life will you apply in your own life?  What steps of action will you take to be more intentional in this area?

It's been incredibly challenging for me to see how God can still allow me to really make money after all the mistakes I've made.  Mary knew in the end that Jesus would die, and she had to completely trust God that this was not the end, no matter how painful it was.  I think I have allowed the pain of all the financial stuff I went through to hold me back and listening to people, though they have my best interest at heart, that always play it safe and just settle.

Some actions I am currently taking are going through professional EMDR counseling sessions to get rid of my fears to help me get back on track and not be fearful about making money, no matter how God deems me to do this.  This time I will be focused on God, not the money or anyone else.  But, it's taking so much time.

The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 10 - The Intentional Sensible Homemaker

1.  Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading this chapter.  What was notable to you from the reading?

When I am not being "sensible" in my life intentionally, my children see this and they see me as a role model whether I want them to or not.  I see they have adopted some things I am not sensible in like being aware and conscious about things.  They have now formed a bad habit of this and it's not good.  I know they got this from me.  So, I must now undo this and I am working on it.

As far as taking care of the physical home, this really isn't an issue for me.  I'm fairly organized, keep it fairly clean with things in their place.  Provide a safe environment for my family to come home to that is inviting.  And, I'm working now on really my own behaviors in being sensible.

2.  From this chapter, find all the synonyms for the word sensible.  Which are strengths for you?  Which are weaknesses?  Why do you think you struggle in the area of your weaknesses?

• Discretion
• Discrete
• Sound-Minded
• Self-Controlled
• Temperate
• Curbing One's Desires/Impulses
• Wise
• Prudent
• Shrewd
• Conscious
• Aware of Something
• Practical
• Moderate
• Calm
• Productive

My Strengths - Curbing one's desires/impulses, Shrewd, Practical, Productive

My Weaknesses - Calm, Conscious, Aware of Something, Temperate, Self-Controlled, Sound-Minded

The "Weaknesses" are a challenge for me because they all take intentionality and thinking.  Sometimes with my words I can be quite tactless, saying what is on my mind.  Or, I can also do quite the opposite in not speaking up in a timely manner, then that causes issues, too.  I am working on being more aware of things and remaining calm.  I am also easily excitable, which can be good, but when something is upsetting me, it's not.  Working on deep breathing, praying, using Bach Remedies, EFT.  But, I have to realize first that I'm going towards being upset and be proactive to tackle this issue and stay calm.

3.  Oikouros also means to be a guard of the home.  What do these verses teach us to guard?  How could these apply to our role as homemakers?

Psalm 39:1 - I said, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth while in the presence of the wicked.” (NIV)

Guard our actions and our words.

Psalm 141:3 - Lord, set up a guard for my mouth;keep watch at the door of my lips. (HCSB)

Guard our words.

Luke 12:15 -  Speaking to the people, he went on, “Take care! Protect yourself against the least bit of greed. Life is not defined by what you have, even when you have a lot. (MSG)

Guard becoming greed.  Remain humble and grateful.

Luke 21:34 - Be on your guard, so that your minds are not dulled from carousing, drunkenness, and worries of life, or that day will come on you unexpectedly (HCSB)

Guard your minds.  Keep them sharp and aware, intentionally doing what pleases God.

2 Peter 3:17 - Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawlessand fall from your secure position. (NIV)

Guard being prideful.  Keep humble.

1 John 5:1 - Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Messiah has been born of God,and everyone who loves the Father also loves the one born of Him. (HCSB)

Guard our relationships with God and make sure we love as God loves.

4.  Which tip for practical homemaking will you put into practice?  What heart lesson can you learn from this?

I already put all the practical homemaking tips into practice - 1)  Don't Procrastinate; 2)  A Place For Everything and Everything In Its Place; 3) Practice the Ant Principle; 4) Clean As You Go; 5) Connect the Physical Work With the Spiritual Work

I really do great with all these and currently I am working on teaching these for my kids and husband.  Somehow they find it much more challenging to do this, but it could be that I do such a great job on this.  I need to gently remind and help my family learn these habits and not take for granted that I do these.

5.  Share another practical homemaking tip that you have learned that you can share with the group.

To avoid clutter, if you bring something home, you must get rid of something either donation, giving away, throwing away.  Constantly doing this will avoid clutter.  I've done this for quite a few areas of my home and it really helps lessen overwhelm.  Also, ask yourself before you buy or acquire something, do you really need this?  Even if it is free does not mean you need it.

Once you get an area decluttered and organized, don't let it become cluttered again.  Practicing the ant principle works well here.

MAKING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter.  What personal lessons concerning The Intentional Sensible Homemaker will you apply in your own life?  How will you be more intentional as a woman of God?

I think the 2 main things are to be conscious/aware and to be calm.  When I'm not calm, it really creates storms and a lack of peace in our home.  This is something I've been working a lot on for months now.  Slowly making progress.  Being calm and aware will allow me to be more intentional, draw me closer to God, and allow me to have even better relationships with not only my husband and children, but others outside the home.

The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 9 - Hannah: The Prayers of a Righteous Mom

1.  Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading this chapter.  What was notable to you from the reading?

Hannah's despair and hope made her act wisely.  I would suppose all the time she was barren gave her opportunities to draw closer to God, to seek Him, to better understand His Word.  I think though she felt sad and depressed, she trusted God with her cares, which was to be able to have children.  Though it seemed like it would never happen, she knew without a doubt that God loved her.  That is real trust when things do not go your way and it seems like everyone around you is prospering but you.  I can relate to Hannah in many ways.

2.  How are mothers to be God's tool in the lives of their children?  How are we to be instruments of His grace, mercy, love and forgiveness?

We're to teach our children to be patient, to be wise, to think before they do things, to learn and understand God's Word as we role model this.  As we walk through life, teach them how to lean on God.  There would be times when we need to impart grace, when it's not deserved.  Other times we need to show mercy, love or forgiveness.  These are not easy, but when we do these things, God shines.

As a mother, teaching and showing these things, talking about them and teaching is not easy.

3.  Explain how Hannah differed from Rebekah in the way she handled disappointments?  How did these women different in their dependence on the Lord?  In their parenting and marriages?

Hannah really trusted God.  She had many disappointments in life and learned really to praise and lean on God.  While Rebekah was used to getting her way.  Despite being so blessed by God, she wanted more and didn't appreciate all that she had been blessed with.  Hannah chose to trust God while Rebekah took things in her own hands.  Hannah wanted to honor God, while Rebekah cared more about getting her own way, even being deceitful in her own marriage.  Hannah would not compromise her relationship to God for anything and would honor her word.

4.  Prayer is one of the five musts of intentional mothering.  Hannah modeled persistent prayer for us well.  Rather than scheming with her own plans, she was on her knees seeking God.  What can we learn about the heart of God from these verses and the importance and power of prayer in our lives as women?

• Psalm 9:9-10 - "The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."  ---->  God is our safe place.  He will not forsake His people.
• Psalm 55:16-18, 22 - "As for me, I call to God, and the Lord saves me.  Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.  He rescues me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me." -----> God is the only one that can truly rescue us from all battles/wars.
• Psalm 61:5-8 - "For you, God, have heard my vows;  you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.  Increase the days of the king’s life, his years for many generations.  May he be enthroned in God’s presence forever; appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him.  Then I will ever sing in praise of your name and fulfill my vows day after day." ------> God protects, lengthens our life.  Only He can do that.  When we make a vow, we must honor our word.  One of the ways of showing that we fear God is to keep our vows.  The blessings of God can continue to future generations.
• Psalm 85:6-8 - "Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?  Show us your unfailing love, Lord, and grant us your salvation.  I will listen to what God the Lord says; he promises peace to his people, his faithful servants—but let them not turn to folly."  -----> God will bring in life to lifeless or hopeless situations, but we must place our trust in the Lord and rejoice with Him.  God's love is infinite.  It is only God that brings true peace.
• Psalm 100:4-6 - "Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.  For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations." -----> In order to have God's presence, you must be in a mode of praise, worship and thanksgiving to Him.  So this means, complaining, whining, griping does not draw God's presence.
• Psalm 139:23-24 - "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." -----> God tests us.

5.  Write out one specific way God answered prayer regarding children in your life.  As you think of this, attach a Scripture that might correspond to the prayer or the answer.

I Timothy 3:4 - "He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect."

Though our children aren't always obedient, we are learning to teach our children to obey and the method in doing this is to gain respect from our children, but to obey immediately and willingly.  We find they are way more obedient now than when I was a single mom.  This hasn't been easy but we see God helping us and doing it, transforming our children, as well as us.

Making it Personal Journal

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this lesson.  What personal lessons from this chapter on Hannah's life will you apply in your own life?  What steps of action will you take to be more intentional in this area?

I think I am a lot like Hannah in that I am a prayer warrior.  But even at that, I still have much room to be a prayer warrior.  Now nightly before I go to bed, I do kneel beside my bed and pray for my husband, kids and others consistently.  Because there are so many bad influences and the world is so wicked, calling things that are wrong right, I cannot fight this battle myself.  The best battle is on my knees in prayer to the Lord every day.  Sometimes I really don't feel like praying, but there is something awesome and very humbling about kneeling in prayer to the Lord.

The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 8 - Rebekah: Double Trouble

1.  Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading this chapter.  What was notable to you from the reading?

Favoritism is not something God does.  And when we do this with our children, it's very harmful and the end result can negatively impact future generations.  We must be intentional and do it God's way.

2.  How was Rebekah disobedient to some of the Titus 2 principles we have studied thus far?
Rebekah was intentionally NOT being a good wife that loved, respected and honored her husband.  Rather in trusting in God to work through her husband, she took matters into her own hands.  In the end, she did not trust God.  She also was not intentionally being a godly mother.  Raising her children as God wanted her to.

a.  How did her disobedience affect her marriage and her parenting?
Rebekah's disobedience bred mistrust and deceit in her marriage.  She showed favoritism in her parenting.  So there was resentment and discord between Jacob and Esau, rather than a good bonding between the two.  No child likes to be the least favored.  This also causes the favored one to be spoiled and to get away with things.

b.  How were her sons affected?
Esau was foolish.  He didn't understand nor regard his birthright as the firstborn son.  He made foolish decisions that cost him his birthright.  Jacob learned to be deceitful and devious through her mother, Rebekah, who favored him.  He learned to be manipulative.  Instead of Isaac and Rebekah teaching their sons about not having favoritism, they did the opposite.

In the end, this would affect all future generations.

3.  Matthew 6:21 reminds us that "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

a.  What was Rebekah's treasure?  How was it an idol?
Rebekah's treasure was Jacob as she put him over her husband and her other son, Esau.  She disregarded their customs as well as what God said.

b.  What do women tend to worship today?  How does 1 John 5:21 speak to our tendencies to have idols?

1 John 5:21 -  Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.

Women tend to worship their children or their husband, or materialism.  How the verse speaks to us is that God knows it's easy for us to place idols before Him and we are to purposefully, intentionally guard from having ANY idols in our lives of any type, whether this is an ideal, a person, goals, ambitions, whatever.

4.  How was Isaac and Rebekah's favoritism toward their sons destructive in their family dynamics?  What can we learn from their dysfunction?

It created jealousy and discord between Jacob and Esau.  We can be intentionally fair, but godly, entrusting to God His order in our families.

5.  Have you ever partnered with your children against your husband?  How is this dishonoring to God and to your husband?  What does it say about trusting God?

Unfortunately, yes I have occasionally.  God always convicts and in the end, I always have to confess and repent.  Very humbling.  God has put our husbands to be the head of the household, not us wives.  We are to entrust to God our husbands, even if they make decisions that we are not for.  In doing so, it allows God to work and to change our husbands.  I have also done it the right way and seen God's tremendous blessings in this.  But, often my own selfishness or controllingness makes this a change.  But, God is working and I usually leave it to God than take things into my own control.

Make It Personal Journal

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter.  What personal lessons from Rebekah's life will you apply to your own life?  How will you be more intentional as a woman of God?

If I have any gripes, I just need to take it to God in prayer and be patient, step back and let God do His work.  Sometimes I find I am impatient and will want to write about it, share with someone, but God typically stops this.  And when I'm in my right mind again, not caught up in the emotions, I realize and am thankful that I don't "vent" or didn't "vent" about things in my highly emotional state.  When I am not in an emotional state, I see things much more clearly.

In my first 2 marriages, I wanted to control things and the truth was, I didn't control anything and it led to destruction.  In this marriage, I have learned and am still learning to relinquish control and leave it to God to control.  And I see more changes within my husband and marriage than if I were to take control.

As a result, our children are also changing as I allow God's order in the family to take place, rather than me taking control to be head of the household, which is not God's design for the family.

The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 7 - The Intentional Mother

1.  Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading this chapter.  What was notable to you from the reading?  

I think the thing that most struck me was I couldn't teach something if I really didn't KNOW or experienced it.  Children can see right through you and whether you are being true or not.

2.  What do you think it means that marriage and mothering are schoolrooms for God's sanctification in our lives?  How is this true in your life?

I see schoolrooms as different subjects, but something where we have to learn.  Sanctification is allowing God to use every relationship and situation in our lives to draw us closer and grow us in our relationship with Jesus Christ.  I have found that through my marriage and children, God reveals different things that need to be weeded out of my heart and life, as well as transforming different things.  It's not an easy process because I find I can be quite distracted and I wonder why my own kids have trouble focusing.

Well, I am all over the place, overcommitted, overburdened, overwhelmed.  Not everything my husband and children are that I am, but I can see areas where I have done well and other areas that greatly need improvement and how those areas are not as they should be.

3.  According to Deuteronomy 6:5-9, what has God instructed parents to teach their children?  Why is this so important?

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 - 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

God must be number one and you must remember and walk in that always.  It's important not only because God says so, but when we put anything before God, it is idolatry, which is a sin.  With God, we will have an unexplainable peace that we cannot have with anyone else.

4.  Which of the "Five Musts for Mom" spoke to your heart and why?  What Scriptures spoke to your heart?

Be decidedly proactive spoke to me.  I see my husband as being much better than this than me because I have too much on my plate or I take on too much that I cannot see the forest from the trees.  I tend to be often reactive than proactive, which is not biblical.  No Scriptures came to mind.

5.  What practical, Biblical mothering tip would you most like to share with a younger mom?

Whatever THIS is, it won't be forever.  Enjoy this time and learn.  Whatever keeps happening, there must be something in it for you to learn, grow and change.

Making It Personal Journal

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter?  What personal lessons from this chapter on The Intentional Mom will you apply in your own life?  What steps of actions will you take to be more intentional in this area?

I really need to not be so reactive.  Have a good plan before things happen and when they do happen, I can be proactive, NOT reactive.  I need to pay attention and be aware of what my kids are doing, follow up and check on them, not trust that they made the right choice.  Then, I need to calmly follow up with consequences, if it's negative, but not in an angry way.