Showing posts with label Clarity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Clarity. Show all posts

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Sun, 23-Sep-2012 -- Clean Up

Clean Up by Mike Hohman

Clean Up, a photo by Mike Hohman on Flickr.
The process of cleaning up my life has taken quite a few years and the past 3 weeks, I've really ramped up this clean-up for the remaining unhealthy things I was holding onto.  The clean-up has been a result of identifying areas that I was hanging onto that were unhealthy, ungodly, living on the fence.  It's led to many hours of discussions with God, my beau, and soul searching as why all this mess was in my life.  Most messes in our lives were not the result of a big catastrophe, rather they were little compromises here and there that ultimately resulted in some big negative event in one's life.

The clean-up has resulted in seeing what was on the internet of my stuff and through nearly a decade of posting on the internet, there are thousands of pieces of items, things that when I posted I thought was a good idea, but now, years later, I no longer want all that stuff out there.  I've been deleting accounts (thankfully that even though I don't remember specifics of those accounts, with enough information, I could still get the accounts deleted), deleting contacts & "friends", deleting items & posts, pictures.

Not only that, I've been deleting phone #s, blocking #s and email addresses, deleting files on my computer, especially in areas where I had unhealthy, ungodly ties to others.  Maybe I wasn't experiencing the success I wanted was because I was hanging onto these things, thinking I needed them.  The reality was when I completely let go of every aspect of these things, I began to have freedom and the weights, the familiar weight, was lifted off.

Nearly 6 yrs ago, I went through a blood line cleansing where a lot of spiritual familiar spirits were lifted off me, but since I continued to a small degree to entertain them, some of them came back again and attached themselves to me.  In my own power, at times, I tried to get rid of them, but couldn't.  You can't get rid of these things if you continue to walk in sin because that opens the door to demonic activity to work in your life.

2008 I went through more spiritual cleaning of my life and now, I am ready to completely cut the ties on these things once and for all.  I've made it so that certain people can never contact me again, and I'm now walking in the freedom I should've way back 6 yrs ago, but didn't.  You can't have one foot in God's kingdom and the other foot in sin.


Saturday, January 21, 2012

Sat, 21-Jan-2012 -- Chaos & Clarity

Eyeglass by tonktn28
Eyeglass, a photo by tonktn28 on Flickr.
Today has been a jam packed day filled with lots to do, and well more than I could handle. As the Chinese New Year approaches in a couple days, I think about and begin acting upon what I know and what is right to do.

Though I was born & raised in the U.S., the core of me is still Chinese. And, just like billions of Chinese this weekend have been preparing for the new year through cleaning, so have my kids and I.

Sometimes we don't even see the chaos or turmoil we are in until we begin to look more closely. I heard someone say today that sometimes God will allow chaos into our lives to bring clarity. Honestly, I don't even know if that was a biblical statement or not.

I didn't realize how messy something things had gotten physically in our home until we began cleaning. The more we cleaned, the worse things looked.

I've been doing similarly with relationships in my life and my finances. Sometimes before things can really look better, they actually get worse for a period of time. Then, there is that point where things are trending in the right direction.

In the Wizard of Oz, when the tornado came at Dorothy's house, what was the first thing that went? It was the white picket fence. Chaos just erupted. Eventually, out of that chaos came clarity, but it wasn't without its pain & heartache.

Now is the time to get rid of the fantasies and to live God's dream for my life. Just walking this out one day at a time. Thank you for letting me share my life with you.