When You Rise Up - Chapter 9 - The Discipline of Discipline

Spring Mountain Ranch State Park, Nevada (Nov'16)

1.  Share the most challenging part of discipline your children?  What specific Biblical lessons from this chapter could help you to parent more effectively?

For me, the most challenging part of disciplining my kids is consistency.  I tend to be a bit extreme either super nice until the kids take that for granted and then I fly off the handle.  My husband is in the middle usually and he's very consistent.  I tend to take after my parents and I know it can be quite confusing.  However, in the past 4-5 years, since my husband and I have been married, we've been working together to help me be more consistent.  It isn't easy.

Proverbs 29:15 says, "Punishment and discipline can make children wise, but children who are never corrected will bring shame to their mother."

The 3 lessons - Don't Discipline in Anger; Discipline for disobedience or rebellion, not accidents or childishness; Be Consistent in Discipline are really wise things for me to do to be a more effective parent.  And those 3 things are things I continue to work on.  When I get overwhelmed, lack sleep, over commit to things, I tend to not make good decisions and can discipline in anger.  I need to probably count to 10 and acknowledge that I'm angry, tired, overwhelmed or whatever emotionally charged and wait until I cool down.

My husband is a much better example.

2.  What are some key values and teachings that you have been teaching or want to become intentional about teaching your children?  Are you consistent in partnering with your husband on these values and goals?

I want to teach my children that disobedience and rebellion bring about not good consequences, to accept responsibility for their choices and the outcome.  And the correction and discipline that we are doing is because we are teaching them because we love them.  We want them to make good choices with hopefully good consequences and that they learn to make wise choices for themselves.

For the most part, I am consistent in partnering with my husband in these values, but if anyone falters, it's me.  I can be too permissive sometimes, or sometimes I think my husband is too harsh and then I feel like I want to usurp him.  A few times I've done this and it hasn't been good between us and it ALWAYS backfires on me with the kids.

3.  Review the four Biblical principles for disciplining children in this chapter.  Discuss which of the four were most beneficial or helpful and why.

The discipline with consistency is the most beneficial because this helps my children learn better rather than learn to be manipulators, which I think I have created.  I notice that because of my inconsistencies, the kids try to get away things with me, but rarely try to do this with my husband.  I truly believe that consistency helps my kids WAY better than being inconsistent, by providing them with safety and love, but also helps them make better decisions for themselves.

4.  Sometimes the hardest part of parenting (or doing anything) is waiting to see the results of our efforts.  How do these verses give you encouragement?

• Galatians 6:9 - We must not get tired of doing good. We will receive our harvest of eternal life at the right time. We must not give up.. (ERV)
• I think it's obvious from this verse to keep up the fight, to keep on keeping on because the end result WILL be good, even if the short-term may be frustrating.

• Ephesians 6:10-12 - 10 Finally, build up your strength in union with the Lord and by means of his mighty power. 11 Put on all the armor that God gives you, so that you will be able to stand up against the Devil's evil tricks. 12 For we are not fighting against human beings but against the wicked spiritual forces in the heavenly world, the rulers, authorities, and cosmic powers of this dark age. (GNT)
• .These verses tell me I cannot do it alone that I NEED God's strength.  I need the WHOLE armor of God and I must rely on Him.  I must NOT give the devil any place and the fight I see right before me isn't from an earthly realm, but in the spiritual realm.  That is why in order to defeat the enemy, I might fight this as a spiritual war, with spiritual weapons.  Only God can truly defeat the enemy.

• Psalm 34:15 - The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous [those with moral courage and spiritual integrity]  And His ears are open to their cry. (AMP)
• My righteousness comes from Jesus Christ and being in right standing before Him, repented, forgiven.  God hears my cries.  He listens and He acts.

5.  Is your child or children struggling with obeying you?  Why do you think this is true?  Prayerfully ask the Lord if there are issues of inconsistency in your way of disciplining.  Or if you have discipline in anger, will you confess that anger to God now.  Perhaps you need to seek your child's forgiveness as well.

Yes, my children struggle at times to obey, but now seeing other people's children and how they are in their teens, I see that my kids struggle way less than other teens to obey because at least when they were young, I did correct & discipline them, while loving on them.  Though I wasn't consistent, I did set healthy boundaries usually for them and now they are able to make much better choices in their lives.

There are inconsistencies still in how I discipline or when I discipline.  I can get a little lazy on this depending on my husband more on this, but I need to make sure I am following through.  What helps is if I write things down.

I have disciplined in anger, but I have gotten much better at not doing this.  I have repented for these times.  And, I have asked my kids to forgive me.

6.  Share one verse or insight from this chapter that gave you encouragement and hope as a mom.  Why did you choose that verse?

I love Proverbs 29:17, "Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad."  I am seeing how correction and discipline has helped our kids choose better friends and people to be around them.  They haven't tried to be sneaky now as they are teenagers because I corrected this when they were much younger, even before my husband came into their lives.  It was a challenge then to get them to not be sneaky, correct & discipline, but we're seeing the fruit now.  And, I pray it continues as they leave the house as adults to choose to surround themselves with good people and choose to make good & wise choices for their lives.

The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 2 - Eve: The Other Side of Eden

This is taken from Lee Sumner's The Intentional Woman - Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom, Chapter 2 homework.

1.  Write down thoughts or insights from Chapter 2.  What was notable from the reading?

Sin has devastating consequences - to the point of death.  One wrong choice can lead to a compound effect that is disastrous.  We should be careful who we listen to.

2.  According to the following verses, explain why everyone would have responded to the serpent's temptation in the Garden just as Adam and Eve did?

• Jeremiah 17:9 - The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?

Our hearts are deceitful and cannot be trusted.  So if we're trusting in our hearts, it's unreliable.

• Romans 3:9-12 - What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage? Not at all! For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin. 10 As it is written:“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God.   All have turned away,  they have together become worthless;
  there is no one who does good, not even one.”

Outside of God, we truly cannot be GOOD, even if we tried.  At least Good in God's eyes.

• Romans 3:23 - for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

There is no one that is perfect and alone, without Jesus, we cannot be connected to God.

What does this say about the human condition?

Our condition is doomed without Jesus.

What does this confirm about my own heart?

It means my heart cannot be trusted.

3.  While sin brought havoc to God's creation and removed Adam & Eve from fellowship with the God, in His infinite wisdom, God gave Adam and Eve insight into His redemptive plan.  In order to cover their physical nakedness and shame, blood was sacrificed on their behalf.  There was the shed blood of the innocent for the deeds of the guilty.  In this way, the Lord gave a look into His Redemptive Plan of Salvation for the spiritual nakedness and shame we all suffer as a result of our own sin.

Like Adam & Eve, unable to cleanse our hearts from sin's curse, what promises do these verses give us in regard to what the sacrificed, shed blood of Christ has done for us?

• Romans 5:9 - Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!

We are no longer spiritually doom because of the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross.

• Ephesians 1:7-11 - In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8 that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, 9 he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.  11 In him we were also chosen,having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,

Because of Jesus dying on the Cross for our sins, we now have union with Him.

• 1 Peter 1:18-21 - 18 For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20 He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. 21 Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him,and so your faith and hope are in God.

If we ask Jesus to be our Savior, He will come into our hearts.  God knew that mankind would screw things up, so He knew that He would send Jesus to be our Savior.

Have you received received salvation through Christ for my sinful condition?  Do you know for sure that you are saved?  If yes, write out your conversion story in a short paragraph.

Yes, I have received salvation through Christ.  I was saved during VBS when I was saved and led to the Lord by a woman named Grace.  And, I have definitely seen evidence of my salvation throughout my life - some points more than others.

1. Your sinful state of heart and mind before you met Jesus.  Honestly, I don't remember how sinful I was before 7 years old.
2. The general circumstance regarding how you met Him.  I was introduced to Jesus by CW when she began taking me to church when I was 3.  I just was so hungry to know Jesus more.
3. How is my life different today as a result of Jesus in your heart?  Oh my goodness.  I know that I am never alone and that I can talk with Him anytime, anywhere over anything.  Otherwise, I would feel so alone at many points in my life.  Jesus has brought great comfort to me, especially in troublesome times.

4.  Ecclesiastes 1:9 (What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.) reminds us that there is nothing new under the sun.  Eve's struggle with sin was not unlike our struggles today.  Her conversation revealed what captivated her heart.  Then, as soon as sin entered the world, she had marital problems.  There was the blame game:  Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent.  No one took responsibility for their own sin.  Childbirth was painful and there were no medications to cushion it.  Then, there was the trouble with her children.  They had sinful hearts, too.  Cain became a prodigal and a murderer.  With each sunrise and sunset, sin continued to entrench itself more fully in the hearts of mankind.

1. Describe how Eve's choices affected her husband?  How did it ultimately affect her children?  Adam trusted and believed Eve, or at least he wanted to.  Why would she lead him astray?  It did cause him to sin.  And it ultimately caused her children to sin, too.  The sin curse is passed down through all generations thereafter.
2. Why is sin never personal or private?  Because what flows in our heart will eventually flow out into other areas of our lives.

5.  Consider the situation in the Garden of Eden.  Even opened her heart to the enemy of her soul and believed a lie.  The Bible says she was deceived.  (2 Corinthians 11:3 - But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning,your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.)  

However, her deception was not innocent because the Lord pronounced a judgment on her for it.  She willingly opened her heart to deception.  But Adam made a willful choice to disobey, also, though not deceived.  Yet, he followed his wife's choice.  He also received God's judgment (Genesis 3:17-19 - To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’

“Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life.  ¹⁸ It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.  ¹⁹ By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.”

1. What does Eve's choice say about the influence women can have on their husband's decision-making?  Women can sometimes be very convincing and use their sexuality or sex appeal to sway their husband's decision-making, which is manipulative and deceptive.
2. What Godly counsel does 1 Peter 3:1-6 (Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won overwithout words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord.You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.) give us in regard to living as a righteous influence on our husbands?  It tells wives to really love their husbands in a way that honors God through a willing submission.  I have found this to be very true in my own marriage that as I humbled myself, submitted to God first and then to my husband, had a gentle and quiet spirit, that that has been totally transforming my marriage.  My husband is way more loving, kind, listens to me and it's become more a mutual submission thing.  Very cool.  I've learned that always asserting myself in my marriage prior was NOT good and led to no good, two divorces.
3. Name 2 specific ways that you can walk in obedience to the Lord and be a Godly influence on your husband in light of what we are taught according to 1 Peter 3?  a)  I can keep a lower tone of voice when speaking to him especially when I disagree, not use sarcasm, listen to him and act accordingly while still gentle expressing myself verbally in a non defensive way.  b)  Invite my husband to help me out and be okay that if I do and he doesn't want to, that I do not cop an attitude but just do things in love and a great attitude.

Making It Personal Journal - Write any thoughts or convictions I have in regard to this chapter.  What changes will I make in my life as a result of the study of Eve?  How will I be more intentional in my relationship with God and my family?

I think I have already begun a couple years ago on this to really being a quiet, meek wife that just loves her husband.  My husband will have the final say and I do honor him in this, even if I disagree.  But, it's the attitude that goes with it, a good attitude.  Having good humor has also helped a great deal.  A couple years ago, I started working on healing my soul and got rid of a lot of things that were unhealthy and bad, and got those parts of my soul healed.  As that happened, I was able to submit to my husband more.

He now does things that are more romantic and things that I love because as I looked to submit to him, he sees that I really do respect and love him.