Tuesday, 5-Jan-2016 - Have It Your Way

What happens when you don't get your way?  Do you tend to pout?  Manipulate others?  Threaten if it's not done your way that you're going to . . . ?

I was talking to a close friend who is married to a very nice man.  She was complaining about some things about him, which the one thing is pretty big.  But, he is an honest man, kind, nice to her, respectful, loves her, supports her.  He changed jobs, which was not an easy task because he had been at his job for many years, but with her encouragement, he got a much better job, which also enables them to have a better life somewhat.

She is now able to go to school without needing to work.  But, the one thing is, she is not in love with him.  Let's face it.  There is no ideal man nor woman in this world.  We all have to compromise and learn & grow.  She could divorce this guy, then it would be another divorce under her belt.  And, she could try to find another man that would give her the things she isn't getting in this marriage.  But, probably whomever the next guy is, he's going to lack in some areas, too.  So, what do you do?  Get a divorce each time your spouse isn't ideal?

Or, if you're married to a good person that you chose to marry and they are committed to you, why don't you guys work through things and really put your marriage in God's hands?  I mean really put it in God's hands.  That's easier said than done, but I know about this because I'm doing it.

I love my husband and I think he's the best guy for me and I'm so glad that I married him.  Our first year definitely wasn't easy and I cannot tell you how many fights we had and how awful they were.  I felt at some points really discouraged.  But, when I began to really get serious with my relationship with God in a way I've never, and basically by stop blaming others for my problems or the issues in my life and getting healing for my soul, everything changed.

When change begins to happen, it's not easy.  You have to press through even when you feel like giving up.  I believe the Bible to be true.  My friend said she's tried it the Bible way, but it doesn't work.  I'll surmise that she only tried the parts of the Bible she wanted and not in full.  You can't take a verse or two out and make it into something you want to hear.  You have to take it for what it really is.

Sometimes facing the truth and taking responsibility genuinely stinks.  But, if we press through, persevere through all of it, God does bless and we do come out not smelling stinky, rather some glorious fragrance.  My husband and I still have tough times that we go through, but they are far and few between because whether my husband seeks God or not, I know I am and I stand in the gap for my marriage.  I've seen God's blessing and hand continually.

I have praised God through my challenging times, as well as in my blessed times.  Praising and worshiping God, getting my soul cleaned along with repentance have been life changing for me.  When we repent, we not only forgive, ask for forgiveness, but we turn from what we've done wrong.  And after that, you need your soul wounds from those sins healed.

As humans, we are often so messed up with so much junk, so we need to continually come before God to get really cleaned, and the more we do it, the less junk there is left to deal with.  We can't threaten God.  Oh, God, if you don't make my husband this perfect man, I'm going to stop believing in you!!  Who does that hurt?  God is not threatened by us.  It sounds so childish, but I know many people who have been hurt or disappointed in life threaten because God didn't do things their way, He must not be God at or, or that He doesn't love them.  That really is hogwash.

Hopefully and prayerfully, my friend does not choose divorce.  But, if she should, I won't judge her, rather just be sad and just continue to pray for her, love her.  Awhile back, I let go of the things I don't care about in my husband to the Lord.  And if the Lord should choose to change him to be more what I would like, then great.  But if not, I will still choose to love my husband and respect him.  I am seeing the freedom in letting go and let God.  Yes, that is a cliche, but it's true.

I have found that as I let go, God has been changing my husband, but more importantly, I've changed and I've learned to trust God more.

Friday, 8-May-2015 - Sweetness

Since last Fall 2014, I've been working on getting my soul wounds healed, as well as praying for my marriage and family.  We all have soul wounds and I figured me getting my wounds healed first would avail my family the best.  It's amazing when those wounds are healed how your life changes, but not only that, but the lives of others changes.

The enemy, Satan, does not want our soul wounds to be healed.  In fact, the Bible says that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy our lives - that is, those of Christians.  When our souls are wounded, we have those things in common with the enemy, giving the enemy legal right to mess with our lives.  As I think of Jesus, He had power when He prayed for people, they got healed.

The same Dunamis Power that is in Jesus is the same power that resides in me.  But when I have things in common with the enemy, I cannot access that Dunamis Power.  It is through repentance, applying what Jesus did on the Cross for me (and all of mankind), and the cleansing of His blood for my sins (atoning) that I can be washed clean of these sins.  BUT, it is Jesus' Resurrection Dunamis Power that heals the wounds caused by those sins.

I am seeing more changes in my life in a good way more and more.  There is acceleration here and it's because of this Dunamis Power that heals my wounds.   I've also been doing this for my husband and kids.  I've done this more for my husband than the kids, and thus, I am seeing greater changes in my husband.

In fact, there is this miraculous sweetness and love in our relationship that is blossoming.  I never got to enjoy this in my other marriages (yes, unfortunately I've been divorced twice).   God is transforming my marriage right now before my eyes.  He has been healing our soul wounds.  My husband commented the other day that he was so surprised that I did not procrastinate or make excuses about getting rid of something in our home.  I pretty much did it immediately that day.

It is the power of God transforming our marriage to make it what He wants it to be, a couple who draws closer and closer in love with each other.  I love when he calls me from work and we talk like two giddy teenagers.  Or, when he leaves for work, I am happy that he loves his job and work, but sad that we will be apart.  And, when he comes home, my heart leaps for joy.  He looks forward to talking with me, with seeing me, with hearing my voice, with coming home to me.

We enjoy parenting together, as well as cooking, going places, our weekly dates.

I was so wounded in my prior marriages and even beginning this one, so many wounds.   But by the grace of God, He has sustained us through those challenging times to bring us to this.  And, in fact, this is just the beginning.  When my husband's soul wounds are healed, as well as the kids and all of mine, I cannot imagine how sweet it will be, and the power we will have to be able to move mountains.

When we pray for someone, like for healing, they will get healed.  When we pray, it will be done because what we are praying for others for, we will not have anything in common with the enemy and the prayers will do something.  It is powerful because I want to not only see the lives of my family and I changed, but many others, to get healing for their souls and for it to spread.  For revival to come, because we need it in this dark age.

So we keep persevering and take off everything that hinders our walk with the Lord.

Sunday, 12-Apr-2015 - Learning Lessons

Sometimes learning can be quite painful.  As I'm pressing forward and God is healing my soul wounds, which leaves me with less that I have in common with the enemy, there is a greater expectation of obedience that I'm learning about.

This past Tuesday, there was something I wanted to do that I distinctly knew was wrong, that God did not want me to do it.  I heard Him clearly in my mind tell me not to do it.  But, I chose in rebellion to do it anyway.  It seemed like such a small thing.  But, spiritually, the Bible states in I Samuel 15:23 that rebellion is as witchcraft.  It was this rebellion that caused God to reject King Saul.  And then a host of not good things happened when God took His hand off Saul.

When I knowingly disobeyed God, that was rebellion.  Thus, this was not in line with God, rather the enemy, the devil.  What happened shortly later was my husband and I got in an argument over the phone, which is not exactly normal for us, especially if he's at work.  Then, from that argument, I began feeling in despair, hopeless, depressed.  I am not a depressed kind of person.

Over the next hours to come, it was not pleasant.  I couldn't think about God, couldn't really connect with the Lord.  My mind was so depressed and not in its right mind.  When my husband got home from work, my reactions to him and him to me were not good.  In the end, we got into this huge incident where it was not good.  It brought trauma to all of us emotionally - my husband, my kids, my dad, and to myself.  It was simply awful.

When I finally went to bed (without repenting to the Lord), I was further depressed and feeling awful.  When I took the kids to school, I felt awful, but I began to repent as I drove and the tide began to turn.  I began to get a clearer mind and continued to pray through what I know regarding soul wounds.

Sin is sin.  There is no such thing as small sin in the Kingdom of God, because God IS HOLY.  He tolerates NO SIN.  That sin put a great wedge between God and I and it caused things in my soul, the wounds and the wounds of my husband, for the enemy just to really wreak havoc to our family, over what I thought was seemingly small.  It wasn't small.

As my soul gets healed more and more, it means greater intimacy with my Lord, but there is a higher realm of expectation and power that I have through Jesus Christ.  But, it also means a greater level or righteousness and Holy living is required.  It was a very tough lesson to learn this past week, but as Romans 8:28, God can turn any situation around for His good.

Repentance turns the tide.

Good Friday, 3-Apr-2015 - More Soul Wounds Healed

These were flowers I had taken last weekend as my husband, daughter, and a friend of ours were on our way to the mountains.  We stopped by a nearby area to take some pictures of some round yellow flowers.  These are not them.  On the way back to the car, I passed these flowers, but, as I've been learning in my daily walks and time with God, sometimes what seems very insignificant can be magnificent and wonderful.

These flowers were just on the side of the road and looked like weeds.  But upon closer inspection, there is a gorgeous beauty to them, the brilliant contrasting colors amidst harsh desert surroundings.  Thankfully God brought rain periodically in the past few months and these flowers were able to survive for quite awhile.

Sometimes in order for us to appreciate life and the tapestry God is weaving in our lives, we need to take a huge step back, or two or three and see the bigger picture.  What is God doing?  Other times, we need to come in real close and see the things that there is to be grateful for.  Zoom in on those things and you will find a beauty you've never seen before.

I'm learning to worship, praise God in a new special way, with new eyes.  These months I have been pressing towards getting my soul wounds healed, so I can see better with my mind and soul, rather than through the jadedness of my soul wounds.  

As God continues to show me areas of woundedness, I begin to repent and apply the blood of Jesus from the Cross to those sins.  I don't stop there, but then I apply Jesus Resurrection Dunamis Power to those wounds caused by sin.  Then, I take my authority in Jesus, because my spirit man is perfect and a new creation in Christ and get rid of the enemy.  When my soul wounds are healed, I now have the legal right to bind the enemy and kick him out.  Then, you must replace all the areas the enemy resided in with the the Lord's Glory, His Light.  

I am changing, and as I pray for myself, I'm seeing my environment, how others respond to me as well as me responding them to changing greatly.  And, as my soul wounds get healed, I begin praying for other's soul wounds to be healed.  God is doing stuff.

Recently I gifted a friend of mine a bunch of Katie Souza's stuff and she's been doing this and seeing amazing changes that only God can do as her soul wounds get healed.  God is good!!

Mon, 2-Mar-2015 - Healing, Soul Wounds

I've been learning so much about my soul wounds that I'm seeing God do some really awesome things. As a New Creation in Christ, our spirit man is new, unflawed. However, our minds, our wills, our souls are not new creations.  I wish once you accept Christ that all those sinful things just go away, those memories that you don't want to hang onto, those addictions or bad habits just all disappear.  But they don't.

For many of us, even if we came from good homes, we all have things that have wounded our souls.  Soul wounds come from sin, whether it's sin that we did or others sinning against us, or sins that we have inherited from our ancestors.

I've been spending quite some time in the past few months asking God to reveal to me sins in my life and He has.  It has been enlightening.  A couple weeks ago, I asked God to begin to give me dreams to reveal what areas I need to address in regards to soul wounds and He has been doing this.  It's really cool.

How do you get the healing for your soul?  Here is what I understand the process to be:

1.  Repent/ask for forgiveness for sins (whether these be sins you committed, others committed against you, or ancestral sins) and be specific, if you can.  Apply Jesus' blood to those sins, because Jesus did pay the penalty for our sins.

Most of us just stop there and those Christ forgives those sins, washes them with His Blood, and God sees them no more, our souls are still wounded.  That's why (at least my understanding) is why we can still be plagued by those sins and keep doing them.

2.  Apply Jesus' Resurrection Dunamis Power to those wounds to get complete healing.  It is through Jesus' Resurrection that there is POWER to overcome, to heal.  You can Google Dunamis, but I see it as the ability to create miracles.  It's all about Jesus.  You nor I can heal by ourselves, only through Jesus.

3.  Once your soul wounds are healed, you no longer have anything in common with the enemy, with regards to what you prayed about.  So, if it was for the sin of food addiction, then bind up the strongman over food addiction, ransack his house, and kick him out.  Actually, the house is your house, but you allowed the strongman to take up living in your house and taking over and he brought his demonic cohorts with him.  Kick them all out, but first you must, by the authority of Jesus Christ, bind up the strongman, THEN ransack his house and kick him out along with his demonic buddies.

4.  Once you've kicked him out, the Bible says that you must fill the house and guess with what?  Fill the house with God's glory, with God because if you leave it empty, even more demonic yuckies will come back.

That's it.  Four parts.

A couple weeks ago, while on vacation with my family to the Grand Canyon, my son had a near 2 week soccer injury and was on crutches.  I led my son through this as God revealed to him and I what we needed to address.  God miraculously healed my son.  The healing didn't take place at least for him right then it there, but the next morning, his hip, right leg were completely healed and he was able to endure many, many hours of walking, hiking whereas the day before, he could barely walk.

Isn't God good?  And, God also miraculously healed this cough I had had for 7 weeks that was quite debilitating.  I guess personally I was dealing with the same issues - rebellion, which is as the sin of witchcraft, disobedience to parents, bad attitude, complaining, whining.  I believe those are the things we prayed about.