The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 4 - Sarah - When Your Heart Leads Your Head

1.  Write down any thoughts or insights I gained from Chapter 4.  What was notable to me?
Throughout time, it's easy to trust in what we see, rather than something we cannot.  I know when things take too long, I tend to want to solve it myself.  It never works out when I do that.

2.  Certainly we see that Sarah was human.  She had times of courage and times of fear.  At the root of fear is the need to control.  Describe how Sarah tried to control her circumstances?  How is this not sound-mindedness?

Sarah misunderstood God, or so she thought.  So she took matters into her own hands.  When we lack faith in God, it's not having a sound-mind, rather a mind full of fear.  She probably thought, "How are we going to be parents of many nations when we don't even have a baby?  Well, maybe God didn't mean that I would be the true physical mom.  Maybe He met another woman would be the surrogate mom."  Going against God or undermining God is not sound because God has the most sound mind of all.

3.  What does the need for control tell us about our relationship with God?  What does Proverbs 3:5-6 (Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him,  And He will make your paths straight.) teach us about trusting God and being sound-minded?

It tells us that we do not trust God completely and that we are most likely being prideful, thinking our way is best.  Which, ultimately is not a sound mind.

4.  In what ways do I find myself controlling my circumstances and how does this affect my family or others?

I find myself expecting others to do as I say and when they don't I get upset.  Or, if things don't go according to my expectations, whether they be realistic or not, then I go crazy.  This really causes and wreaks havoc in our lives, messes up our relationships with each other.  It causes a great deal of hurt feelings, maybe things leading to lack of trust.  Not a good thing.

5.  What is the connection between trusting God and having a sound mind in these verses?  Which ones speak to my heart the most?

• Romans 12:1-2 - Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (NIV) - There are so many cares from each day that DAILY we need to renew our minds and we do that through God's Word.  If we don't spend time in the Bible, studying it, or praying to the Lord, seeking Him, how will we know what He desires of us.  Then, it leaves us open and susceptible to all sorts of untruths (lies) and leads us to a very destructive way of life.

• 2 Corinthians 10:5 -  We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. (NLT) - We have to weigh our thoughts with that of the word of God.  Not every thought we have comes from God and we have to be able to tell what is from Him and what is not.  Things that cause us to be selfish, prideful, self-centered, wanting our way are not from God and this verse tells us to not just put aside, but to literally destroy those obstacles and mindsets and then train our mind to only keep thoughts that please the Lord.

• Colossians 3:1-3 - Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. (NIV) - To have a sound mind, we need to not be so incredibly focused and stressed with "stuff".  Sure we have things we need to do, but not out of compulsion or control, rather out of love.  Is what we are doing pleasing God or is it causing us to be in a crazy frenzy?

• James 1:5-6 - 5 Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind. (HCSB) - Having a sound mind means to ask God for wisdom in things.  The Bible says He will give us wisdom if we ask.  Often we don't ask or don't want to ask.  And when we ask, don't think He won't give us wisdom, He will.  However, when He gives us wisdom, we must apply it to our lives, otherwise, it's just useless junk.  Sometimes it will require great faith to act on certain wisdom we receive from God.

• Isaiah 26:3-4 - “The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You.  "Trust in the Lord forever, For in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock." - Steadfast means steady, calm, restrained, controlled.  This type of mind trusts in God, seeks after Him.  God is a Peace.  Trust means to lean on and that is we are to lean on God.

4 

Making it Personal Journal

Write any thoughts or convictions that I have in regard to when your heart leads your head.  Has there been anything I considered too difficult for God and trusted in my own abilities rather than in Him?  What personal lessons concerning Sarah will I apply to my own life?  How will I be more intentional as a woman of God?

The Bible says the heart is deceitful above all things.  When are hearts are not aligned to God & His Word, we cannot follow our hearts or it will lead us in the wrong direction.  I sort of liken the heart at times to our feelings, which come and go.  For a long time, I trusted my own heart in my financial desires, as well as desires for a soulmate rather than really trust God's plan for me.  As I began to let go of those things and really seek Him, God began to transform my life.  It hasn't happened quickly, as some of my lessons have taken too long for me to learn, but it's happening.

Especially in times when I want to take matters in my own hand, I MUST seek God and what He wants me to do.  Raising teenagers has been challenging, but as I submit more to God, lean on Him, seek Him daily on my knees in prayer, the Holy Spirit does show me what to do and to partner with my husband on this.

Regarding my health, it's easy to be swayed by so many different things to help heal me, but I see the challenges I've faced and how God is helping me through them.  And, in turn, as I share these things with others, they are helping more than just myself.  Romans 8:28 is so true in that God has been changing things for His glory.

Instead of complaining and whining, just thank God for what He's doing in situations especially where I am frustrated and have no clear understanding of what is going on.  Praise God through the storms.  That's how I can be more intentional.  Praising the Lord invites His presence daily in our lives as Believers.

The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 3 - The Intentional Mind

1.  Write down any thoughts or insights I gained from Chapter 3.  What was notable to me?
I really loved seeing all the various definitions, synonyms for having a sound mind.  I can see where often I did not have a sound mind and just cut loose, letting all things go as I pleased.  Totally not what God says in His Word that He desires.  Being sound minded means being moderate, which means to be mild and restrained.  It means to bring your mind to a form of gentleness, not being extreme.  Gentleness is one of the Fruit of the Spirit.

2.  Describe a time when I was not sound-minded.  What was the result?
Oh my goodness.  I have had far too many situations where I was the opposite of having a sound-mind.  Some of the things of not having a sound mind were being contentious, controversial, touchy, continually debating, arguing, quick-tempered, moody, easily upset.  The opposite is having a COOL, steady spirit, even-tempered.

I remember being such a hot head in so many situations, like my marriages, all three of them and two of them led to divorces.  I was a hot head in my career and for the companies I worked for at times, and it just made people not want to deal with me.  I know I wouldn't want to deal with an irrational hot head.  When you are not sound-minded, people don't want to listen to you.  They think you're a crazy fool.  It has not served me well.

3.  As I studied this lesson, in what areas do I see the need to become more sound-minded?  What Scripture spoke to me in regard to this?
Proverbs 17:27-28 - 

The intelligent person restrains his words,
and one who keeps a cool head[a]
is a man of understanding.

28 Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent,
discerning when he seals his lips.

These verses spoke to me as well as convicted me.  So, you could be an atheist fool, a Christian fool, a Muslim fool, or whatever, but if you are able to control your words, keep a cool head, restrain what comes out of your mouth, you're better off than the person that just spouts off anything uncontrollably.  I definitely need to THINK before I speak or react all the time.  When I'm tired or stressed, it's much more challenging, so I need to be more aware during these times.

4.  In what ways does having a sound-mind protect our marriages?  How does sound-mindedness make us better moms?
Our spouses tend to see the worst sides of us that we aren't willing to display to others.  Being sound-minded can help us honor and respect our spouses and lift them up in love, rather than under our own standards of perfectionism we often set for ourselves and then place them on others.  Having a sound-mind can bring healing as we listen, honor and respect each other.

When we have better sound-mindedness, we can see beyond the immediate with our children and truly see their hearts and then go before God to help shape their characters.


5.  Think back over the synonyms and antonyms of sound-mindedness.  What are some practical ways I can share with the group for being more sound-minded?  Provide Scripture references, when possible.
Say nothing, write nothing when you are emotionally amped up.  Wait until you're calm and see if your perspective has changed by being rational.  Proverbs 15:18 says, "Hot tempers start fights; a calm, cool spirit keeps the peace."

Making it Personal Journal

Write any thoughts or convictions that I have in regard to having an intentional mind.  What changes will I make in my life as a result of this study on sound-mindedness?  How can I be more intentional in my relationship with God and my family?
Wait.  Calm down.  Reassess situation when I am not emotionally charged.

The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 1 - The Intentional God

I just started this Bible Study in a group at my church to help us as wives and mothers to gain wisdom in our lives and to apply that wisdom to become better women overall, and definitely impacting our marriages and families for Jesus.

At the beginning of this year, after nearly 14 years at the same church that I have loved, it was time for our family to move on.  We've tried a number of different churches, but none seemed to really suit us until we found this church where it just clicked with each one of us.  We've been here now for a few months and I think before the end of the year, we will call this church our home.  We see their heart for God, His people and to reach the world for Jesus.

I will be sharing my homework from each of the 18 chapters of this book.  I haven't been blogging hardly in the last couple years just because I haven't made time.  But, since I'll be already doing the homework, why not share it here.

Will basically work to answer the questions and if you want the book, you can get the book on Amazon or at a bookstore and do this along with me.  I'm not going to write down verbatim the homework questions, but paraphrase or write something similar.

1.  Write down any thoughts or insights that I gained from reading Chapter 1.    What stuck out at me in this chapter?

Two things stuck out at me in this chapter.   1)  Gossip in any form is bad.  The Greek word for this is Diabolos.  That word means to channel the devil.  Wow!!  THAT is what gossip is.  What comes out of our mouths often is not good and really shows what our heart is like.  Without looking at others, I can see that my heart truly can be deceitful above all things, which is what Jeremiah 17:9 talks about.  And, I know I can definitely say some really mean and awful things.  It tells you there are more soul wounds to be addressed in order for me to always have speech that pleases God.

Lying speech is a part of this and a part of lying speech is presenting only half truths.  It's all a big fat lie.  And we see the media doing it continually now, especially during this election time.  But, how often do we want to present what we want to present, which is a distortion of the facts?  That is Diabolos speech.

2)  Holiness was the 2nd thing that struck me and I had to examine my own life to see if it was holy before a Holy God and frankly, there is a LOT of room for improvement here.  As I have been battling this virus that has creating an awful cough, last night God revealed to me that it's spiritual and demonic forces over my family and I.  How can Christians have demonic forces influencing them?  Easy.  You have common elements with the enemy that allows the devil and his cohorts to attack.  What are those common elements?  Soul wounds created by sin and the consequences of sin.

Without going into any details, God revealed a certain member of my family and I approached that person.  We began to pray and then I brought both children in and we began to do spiritual warfare of repenting of very specific sins and asking Jesus to forgive these sins and to apply the blood of Jesus to all these sins now and going back through all the generations before us.  Afterwards, we prayed for healing with Jesus' Resurrection Dunamis Power to heal all those soul wounds present and going back through all the generations before us.

What was interesting was how the Holy Spirit spoke to each of us and how there was great unity.  We also did physical demonstrations of what God wanted us to do, which was pray in the back and front yards of our home.  He also directed us to unlock the gates and to walk the whole property and do some other things as we prayed for our lives, home, etc.  We also took our authority in Jesus Christ over the enemy and kicked him out of where he has resided.

Holiness isn't for one day, but it's to change us from our sinful natures and transform us to be more like Jesus.  It's a process, but it's a daily thing that we must put God first.

2.  Who are the spiritually older, godly Titus 2 women in my life?  Who might be younger godly women in my life that I can be a Titus 2 woman to?

CW was once this Titus 2 woman in my life that I was blessed to have for over 3 decades.  She passed away a decade ago and I miss her.  However, some women from my prior church are Titus 2 women for me and I am so blessed to have them in my life.  I can be a Titus 2 woman to my daughter and to new Christian women in my life.

3.  In Luke 6:45, what connection can I see from this verse about words and my heart life?  Write out the verse.  What are the thoughts on how to address my own heart and speech?

• A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

I can see how sometimes the anger, frustration really comes out of my mouth and how hateful that is.  How to address?  Repent and get healing for what I did, soul healing with Jesus' Resurrection Dunamis immediately.  Don't let things fester and build up.  Ask God to help me to truly forgive and not let things get to bitterness.

• Proverbs 10:19 - Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.  

Wow, I am so convicted by this.  So often I need to hold my tongue and I don't.  Definitely some prayer needed here and repentance.  And then really think before I speak.

• Proverbs 15:1-2 - A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wide adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.

I've seen this to work well when instead of being sarcastic and angry, responding in that manner, that when I give a kind and gentle answer, the results are astoundingly good.  So often I have been the fool just spewing out all sorts of ugliness from my mouth.  This is taking me a long time to work through and I'm at the beginning stages of giving a gentle answer instead.  Still, I fall short so many times.

My husband has been a good example often or responding to me in a gentle answer instead and that has really helped me so much.

• Proverbs 15:28 - The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

Think before you speak.  I've got to definitely do that consistently and I'm nowhere near that.  All sorts of wicked, evil things gush from my mouth more often than I'd like to admit.

• Proverbs 16:21, 24 - The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction.  Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Graciousness is hardly ever seen in the media and sometimes as a parent, my speech is less than gracious because of my own sinful nature, of the soul wounds.  Lot of work still is needed here.

• Proverbs 17:27-28 - The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.  Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.

These are convicting verses, especially the latter.  You can be a fool,but if you have restraint on your words, you're less foolish.  I have been hot-tempered most of my life and that is not good.  I am learning through my husband and God to be even-tempered.  Long way to go.

• Proverbs 18:21 - The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

This words of this verse have had a powerful impact in my life.  Growing up, my parents usually used very negative and cutting words to spur us to excel.  We excelled, or at least I did because I didn't want to disappoint, for fear of shame.  They didn't know how to encourage me with uplifting words that I so badly needed.  I know they did their best and didn't know those negative words would harm me.  I can see my own children and others deflate when my words are negative or they swell with anger.

Or, I can see the power of thought, good words and how they lift up and encourage.    We can choose how we are to speak to others, including ourselves.

4.  Read James 1:14-16.  Enslavement.  What about this and what does James tell us.  What is the source of the temptations we face?  What is God saying to us?

James tells us to not give into temptation.  If we give in, it really opens the door for the enemy to really come in and do his work and soon what was tempting, we then become numb that it is any longer temptation.  Then, it's a little easier to go further in sin and further and then one day we think, how did we get this far?  Little by little.

The temptation I have is to live in fear as I have done instead of in courage because of some big falls I've had occur in my life.  God is telling me that though the giants are huge and seems that way, nothing is impossible with Him.  I just need to begin moving in that direction and don't worry about tomorrow, but take one day at a time.

5.  What are of my heart am I vulnerable to enslavement or captivation by?  How does 1 Corinthians 10:13 encourage me?

Currently I'm vulnerable to be being in my comfort zone and not stepping out in faith.  When I feel afraid, to speak out and declare Scripture to encourage me, and do something that takes me out of my comfort zone.

Personal Journal - Write any thoughts or convictions I've had in Chapter 1.  What changes am I willing to make in my life as a result of examining my heart in the areas of conversation and captivation?  How will I be more intentional in my relationship with God and my family?

God is telling me to keep a better reign on my tongue and to give a soft, gentle answer is better.  This is a challenge because I'm used to being abrupt and direct, but God wants compassion from me as He has given me.  To be more intentional means to not see God as a checklist, but someone I am truly in Love With.  That is done through my attitude, actions, words - spending time with God and instead of being an afterthought, make things like memorizing Scripture, praying on my knees, studying God's Word a priority.