Esther - "Waiting Time Is NOT Wasting Time"

Tree at Zion National Park

I think this is the first time I've ever written after one of my women's Bible studies, but I felt I needed to write about this as it's really on my mind in a big way.  Over these months since starting the Bible study last August 2016, I've found myself being challenged and changing as a result of what I'm learning with these women from my church.

We've had a change in leadership due to our leader and her husband being called away to move out of state and there is new leadership.  I have been blessed by all the leadership past and present, even though I am relatively new to this Bible study group.

Today our guest teacher was one of the women in our group.  She is an Indian lady from India.  All of us women in the group are wives and mothers of children of varying ages.  If you asked me maybe a decade ago whether I would ever want to be in a group with all women, I would be hesitant.  However, over the course of the years and events, I have replaced my predominantly male friendships with female friendships, particularly those of godly women whom love the Lord and are really living life, being challenged to live out life as a godly woman according to the Bible.

I can't share most and everything M talked about, but some epiphanies came to me that I am willing to share that is knocking me over that I never realized before:

• Every story in the Bible along with its characters have a specific purpose to teach and help us in our walks with God.  
• Many of us display characteristics from many of the characters in the Bible and some of those characters aren't good characters.  I'll explain later.
• "Waiting Time Is NOT Wasting Time" - I highlighted this in my notes, the only thing I highlighted.

Some characters in the Bible, I can really relate to:

• David - he was a man after God's own heart even though he committed many awful sins.  He understood how to make things right with God through repentance.
• Thomas - though he was a disciple of Jesus, he had so many doubts.
• Paul - the ability to share, to write, to endure trials and tribulations yet remain positive
• Elijah - a man of great faith, but even he got discouraged and exasperated
• Ruth - willing to serve, to humble herself and listen to godly wisdom, to give up everything she knew
• Peter - bold, but also a coward; got humbled, but once he realized he was prideful, he was quick to make it right.

There are other characters in the Bible I can relate to that I won't share at this time.  However, there were characters that I didn't think I could relate to and some were:

• Queen Esther - beautiful, bold, strong, held great favor
• Mordacai - a faithful servant of God, a man who could hear God clearly, willing to be a humble servant for as long as it took, brave
• Haman - a prideful, deceitful, arrogant man
• Jezebel - wicked, evil, prideful, never acknowledging her sin, hateful, revengeful
• the Giant Philistine - prideful, arrogant, taunting 
• King Ahab - a pushover, easily negatively influenced, wicked, evil, a wife pleaser, dominated by a female
• Deborah - a great judge, godly wisdom, strong
• Ananais & Saphira - stole from God, lied, not taking responsibility
• Adam - not taking responsibility, blaming others, not walking in his God-given destiny
• Esau - forsaking something really important for something temporal, short-sightedness
• Jacob - a deceiver, wanted things his way
• Rebecca - also a deceiver, a manipulator, wanted things her way

Each of these characters that I can relate to and not, the truth is, I hold qualities and traits from the good and bad characters of the Bible.  Each are examples of godliness or ungodliness.  With each person, there are consequences to the choices they made.  Some took the easy route.  Others did not and even for some that did not take the easy route, they did not see a good ending.

You cannot see faith, rather it is a trust put into action through either obedience or disobedience to God.  Some people made choices to turn their lives around and others did not.  There were happy and unhappy endings for both godly and ungodly people.  I think my take away today is that even some of the characteristics of some of the characters in the Bible I thought I couldn't relate to, if I look deep enough and study their character and choices, I can find that I exhibit some of these good as well bad traits.

As I wait upon God for certain things to happen in my life, it's not for me to dictate WHEN this will happen, but to allow God the time He needs to make things happen.  Sometimes in order for this to happen, these 5 things need to happen before.  I may be on #4 or still on #1.  Each has its own time and somehow this Masterpiece that the Lord is making, it's best left up to the Master Artist and not to the paint or the paintbrush or the easel or whatever the tool it is.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:  Pick a character, any character in the Bible.  Evaluate the traits and choices of that person.  What do you have in common that is good and bad about that character?  What kind of choices will that help you make for the present and future based upon what you are learning?

Why am I writing about this?  There are things I see in my husband and kids, and others that I would love to see "better", but I cannot control when they change or what is even changed.  God calls me to be obedient to Him, to allow Him to change me.  I don't need to worry about getting others to change.  That is God's job.  But perhaps in the process of ME changing, God is working on changing others, but it starts with me.

"Waiting Time is NOT Wasting Time"

Tues, 28-Feb-2012 -- Making the Most of Your Time

As I've shared in the past, Skillet is one of my favorite groups.  This is one of the top songs on Air1 right now but their awake album has been out for quite some time.  They have so many good songs.

Today I was listening to Air1 and every time I hear about what is happening in terms of them reaching out to others, especially to those with Cleft Palates in Afghanistan.  I couldn't help but cry as I hear about all the people who donated to help make this possible for these people.  Collectively each making a difference.  Some knit caps and other garmets for someone else for Mike to take over to Afghanistan.  To these people, they made a huge difference in their lives.
 
As I listen to this song, time passes by at the same rate.  Some people waste their time doing trivial things that impact no one, rather everything is ME focused.  Others serve others and give unselfishly.  It's totally amazing and incredible.
 
We cannot control other people, only what we do.  Even if all you can do, let's say you're homebound, is to pray for someone, to encourage them.  It's a huge deal.
 
There are sacrifices that I and others are making for my kids right now and though it may seem crazy, I have these moments of their growing up years and I don't want to pass them by.  Somehow, God will equip (and He has) me to do this and still provide for my kids & I.  I don't regret for a moment all the time with my kids.  God has blessed me beyond measure.

Healing

I would have to admit that I see where I am in my life and being a person that is continually seeking to improve, to be better, to be healed, to grow & mature as a person, that somehow I assume and want that for others. The fact is, not everyone wants that for their lives or if they do, do they want it at the rate I want it, or in the method I do. Just because someone may see it differently for themselves, does not mean that is either right or wrong, it's just not me.

Tonight as I took ministry training at church, it was reiterated to not manipulate or cause damage to someone in their healing process, in how God wants to work in their lives.  It totally struck me as I wanted so desperately to get past my own issues, that I wanted that for others.  One person came to mind in particular, and I feel bad for how I pushed that person to heal quickly, to do it in my own timing, rather than just letting God deal with the person.

Anyway, today was Class 1/5 of ministry training and it was really good.  I can be a person that really aggressively wants good for people's lives and make things go too fast, push too hard, and just really not realize it.  Good intentions. 

Maybe some people really don't want to heal, and I need to be okay with that.  Because when you get healed of crap in your life, things change.  Expectations changes.  Lots of things change.  Maybe some people don't want that change for whatever reasons.  It's not my place to tell someone they need to change.  It's up to them.  Timing.

I'm sure there were times others were frustrated with me because I just wasn't getting it, but through the course of time, circumstances, God changing me, I eventually was ready to change and did.  God does the real changing, but only when I am ready to surrender to God to allow Him to change me.

In the meantime, I'm called to love people just where they are at and let Jesus flow through me and do the stuff Jesus did.  I have so much learn.  Anyway, I can't heal myself or anyone.  Only Jesus can heal.  I'd like to share this song by Sheri Carr called "This Heart of Mine".  I hope the song blesses you as it's blessed me.  It's from her "Fearless Now" album.