Throughout my Christian walk, I've always had this need to memorize Scripture. At first, when I was a child, it was just the thing that I was told to do growing up in a small, conservative Baptist Church with AWANAS and Good News Club. Since a competitive spirit was so in me, and it was more competing with myself than anyone, it was to faithfully do all those memorization of those verses. Many of them have stuck with me my whole life. Others I have forgotten.
Going into adulthood, memorizing Scripture has been sparse -- afterall, life got busy. Yes, that is the deception and there is always an excuse. Jobs, kids, functions, church, all these different things. Just excuses. We do what we want to do, don't we? That is, if you want it bad enough.
Again God is impressing upon me to memorize His Word, not out of compulsion, rather now as a deepening of intimacy to understand God's heart, to cling to Him all the time, realizing my dependence upon HIm. As I am challenged to memorize His Word, I'm finding it much easier to do it than I thought and no longer fearing long passages. God is greatly giving grace and I'm choosing verses or passages that the Holy Spirit impresses upon this hurting soul.
The Bible says that His Word is sharper than any 2-edged sword. Wow, have you ever seen a 2-edged sword? I have not, but I imagine that is quite powerful as it can cut both ways, not just one way. And, I'd probably be pretty dangerous with a sword like that. God's Word is way more powerful and dangerous (to the enemy) when I learn God's Word and hide it in my heart.
As I've been learning verses these past 2 weeks, it's convicted me of sin in my life. No, there are no BIG sins that most people would deem, but God deems ALL sin as big to Him. He doesn't discriminate with sin. It is all 100% bad to Him and it causes riffs in one's relationship with Him. God does not tolerate sin because if He did, He would accept it and He doesn't.
I found as soon as I started to learn Bible verses again that not good stuff has challenged me -- areas of anger & unforgiveness have been uncovered again! In my Single Mom's group, these past 2 weeks also we've been on the topic of Unforgiveness. Coincidence? I think not.
Then, I began and finished reading a book on healing the physical body and our lives and the first topic we must address is forgiveness. Do you think God is probably saying something to me? He doesn't have to beat me over the head with a stick, doesn't He? I guess God just wants to make sure that as He forgives me of my sins and crap that I pull as a Christian supposedly walking in Him, that I'm to extend this forgiveness to others.
Anyway, it's going to take God working through me and me surrendering to Him as I get through this next area of my life and learn to forgive, let it go and give up that control to God. Unforgiveness is a prison that in the end hurts us and those we are around. It is a bitter poison. God gave up His Son, Jesus Christ, on the Cross so that He could forgive us. We've been forgiven of so much and could never do more forgiveness than God, so we ought to extend this to others countlessly. This is not the same as saying that whatever the person wronged you with is right, rather it is releasing the offense.
Not that I understand everything there is to understand about forgiveness, but this is one thing. Release it and place it at God's feet, walk away. Let God deal with that person. Yes, I'm realizing there are still control tendencies I have. But, as I memorize God's Word and cling to it, there is something powerful in His Word that convicts me to the point of repentence and then I get to live and walk in freedom. It releases the shackles that sin imprisons me to. Thank you God for Your freedom! It does come at a price.
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