Sun, 18-Dec-11 (In a Fog)

12-18-11 (Fog), a photo by Extraordinarily_Passionate on Flickr.

What a beautiful morning this was with the fog, as it felt like a dream. Today has felt like that, as this antibiotic I'm on is making me feel really tired, a very bad headache that I can't seem to shake. I'm feeling so nauseated, too.

Sometimes I take for granted feeling good, being well, being able to think clearly. I know for some, it won't seem like it's a fog, but I'm having a challenging time today keeping track of things in a multi-dimensional way as I normally would.

I'm not a big fan of western medicine, as I often think it just masks symptoms and band-aids problems without every getting to the root cause. I have a tirade on this which I won't go into because it's too complicated for me to think about at the moment.

As I mentioned to someone today, unless it's life threatening, typically I will not take medications and will attempt to figure out the root cause and eliminate that or something else. It's kept my kids and I overall healthier and with fewer side effects.

Wow, I just feel like puking now. I can't imagine how many people use western meds that get these horrible side effects when some of what they could be doing is a better approach that could be solved by natural means.

I wanted to be present with everything I did today, but it was a challenge with how I was feeling.  It seems that the older I get, the less tolerant physically I am to medications, as well as things like noise, smoke/pollution. 

Other things, as I get older, I've learned to give people more grace where judgment once reigned.  Learning to let go and forgive is something God has worked in me to extend to myself and others more readily. 

The expression that youth is wasted on the young so fits true with me.  I was quick to judge, slow to let go and forgive, to place my body under so much abuse through sleep deprivation, erratic & unhealthy eating, high stress, workaholism and other "isms".

But, continuing on that path only leads to destruction.  Thankfully, God drew me to Him and removed the scales from my eyes to realize those traits were not God's traits, but the opposite.  Through a lot of pain, He turned this wayward, rebellous, stubborn woman more towards His heart for my life.  Though today I physically was in a fog in my mind, I am clear that without Christ and walking with Him daily, I would literally live in a fog all the time in life without really knowing it.  God is so good to have lifted my spiritual fog and let me gain better clarity in a life with Him that truly satisfies.