Different By Design - Husbands & Wives

I listened to this podcast, "Different By Design" and it is AWESOME.  Take a listen to it.  It's 62 minutes and well worth it if you're married, thinking about getting married.

Now in my third and final marriage, the things she talks about totally make sense to me.  I was so independent in my first 2 marriages, always needing my way.  And, I never respected my husbands.  Naomi gives a much better perspective and now that I have a successful marriage that I love and my husband also loves being married to me, my view has completely changed.

My husband has amazing emotional intelligence.  God had brought the right man to me and my husband was right when he told me he was my Mr. Right.  Our first year of marriage was rocky because I had a hard time respecting my husband.  But, as my soul started to get healing, I was able to begin to put to practice in showing my husband respect.  THAT is the main way I can show him that I love him.

Praise be to God I have been able to do things MUCH differently in this marriage.  It has transformed my life, my children's lives, marriage, my relationships with my parents, my family, other people.  I've been able to learn to set healthy boundaries not only for myself, but for others and learning to enforce them.  The things I was once a slave to no longer enslave me.

I love the beginning of I Peter 3 in the Bible:

• Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won overwithout words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord.You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
• 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

I've seen as I've shown my husband respect, truly listening, engaging, stop being so self-conscious of my body (still working on this), and a host of other things, I've seen how my husband has responded and greatly loved on me the way I need.  We've been married now 3 1/2 yrs and every month it gets better.  We do have rough periods as we work through things, but I've seen God's blessing when you first submit to Him, and then submit to your husband.

I'm learning to let go of that defiant, stubborn nature and trust my husband.  Even if he does make a mistake, I've learned that God does redeem and bless in even greater measure since I chose to trust and respect my husband instead of giving in to feelings that I had, which can be often quite intensified and emotional.  My husband isn't perfect, nor am I, but God is changing and transforming us into something even better.

I'm ecstatic to be walking this life with my soulmate, the man of my heart, my best friend, and the true love of my life (next to God).  In an age where women are taught to usurp men and that they have to be like us, I beg to differ.  I had 2 marriages where I followed the world's way that women should be and it ended disastrously.  I grow more in love with not only God, but my husband as the days, weeks, months, and years go by.

You cannot change others.  BUT, you can change yourself and watch the world change around you.