The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 5 - The Intentional Wife

It's been quite some time since I did homework due to how the class has been and we've been on break.  This was an excellent chapter.  Well, they all are so far.

R - Resist your desire to challenge, correct, nag and boss him.
E - Engage in his interests
S - for SHHHHH
P - Pray for him
E - Enjoy him
C - Control your body language
T - Thank him

This was taken yesterday during our many lunch dates we have, though, lately not as many because of an overpacked schedule by me.  My husband is patient and he really enjoyed that I dressed up and made time for him.  God brought in gentle breezes and cooling down this very warm Valley of the Sun for us.  These little date times dotted throughout the week help our marriage so much.

1.  Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from this chapter.  What was notable to you from the reading?

What stood out for me was really a courtship and friendship process that needs to continue after marriage.  My husband and I had such a short dating period, that that courtship period wasn't long.  I think we got some things reversed.  The first year or so was very challenging due to cultural, personality, and other differences.  Being remarried for both of us in our mid 40s can provide a challenge as we are set in our ways.

By the grace of God and His mercy, we have both learned to become more flexible.  In the last year, we have been doing more courtship type things and I'm seeing how it's deepening our relationship and marriage with each other.  The acronym for RESPECT was truly enlightening and I concur with what the author writes.

2.  What were some things you did for your husband while you were dating and maybe early in your marriage that expressed the idea of philandros love?  Do you still do them?  Why or why not?

Since dating time was so short, it's tough to answer this question.  What we do do now that expresses the idea of philandros love is share in each other's interests and loves.  I have a passion for health, fitness, God, and our children and my husband gets involved in these things.  While he has a passion for photography, wrestling, traveling, TV.  We often watch TV together, though not always.  We watch a series together and we wait for the other and not go ahead in the episodes.  We also regularly have lunch dates together where I drive to his work and we eat outside, talking, sharing.  We do a lot of little things together and spend a lot of time each day together.  He will go shopping with me or me him.  We have regular dates often and that really helps us so much.

Although I do not like WWE, my husband loves it and I will sometimes sit and watch with him and I am learning the characters and to sort of get into it.  I know he loves it.

3.  How does disrespect damage sweetheart love?  Review Proverbs 14:1 in thinking about your answer.

The wise woman builds her house,
    but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

It really tears my husband down and makes him think I don't value and respect him when I'm a nag, don't trust him, bring up bad things about the past.  This in turn causes him great anger and makes him not feel wanted and loved.  When I respect him, do those philandros love things for him, his whole countenance changes and he's like a giddy schoolboy in love with me.  I have to often become very intentional to not be disrespectful, because it's so easy - from a look, or making a decision all by myself when I should always include him, especially when it comes to things regarding the kids.  He wants to feel needed not just financially, but as a father, husband, man, friend.

4.  In what areas do you think you can improve your RESPECT for your sweetheart?

I think I can think before I speak, I mean really think first.  Also, I can put myself in his shoes and instead of reacting with my feelings are heart, just take some moments back to see if it's beneficial to say what I'm thinking.  And, I can stop overloading my schedule because this overwhelms me and us, our family.  Lastly, I can lighten up because at times I am far too serious.

5.  Think of some practical ways to share with the group about being an intentional sweetheart.

Have regular small dates together every week, and daily have time for just each other, at least a few minutes, if not more.  Laugh together regularly.