I was talking to a close friend who is married to a very nice man. She was complaining about some things about him, which the one thing is pretty big. But, he is an honest man, kind, nice to her, respectful, loves her, supports her. He changed jobs, which was not an easy task because he had been at his job for many years, but with her encouragement, he got a much better job, which also enables them to have a better life somewhat.
She is now able to go to school without needing to work. But, the one thing is, she is not in love with him. Let's face it. There is no ideal man nor woman in this world. We all have to compromise and learn & grow. She could divorce this guy, then it would be another divorce under her belt. And, she could try to find another man that would give her the things she isn't getting in this marriage. But, probably whomever the next guy is, he's going to lack in some areas, too. So, what do you do? Get a divorce each time your spouse isn't ideal?
Or, if you're married to a good person that you chose to marry and they are committed to you, why don't you guys work through things and really put your marriage in God's hands? I mean really put it in God's hands. That's easier said than done, but I know about this because I'm doing it.
I love my husband and I think he's the best guy for me and I'm so glad that I married him. Our first year definitely wasn't easy and I cannot tell you how many fights we had and how awful they were. I felt at some points really discouraged. But, when I began to really get serious with my relationship with God in a way I've never, and basically by stop blaming others for my problems or the issues in my life and getting healing for my soul, everything changed.
When change begins to happen, it's not easy. You have to press through even when you feel like giving up. I believe the Bible to be true. My friend said she's tried it the Bible way, but it doesn't work. I'll surmise that she only tried the parts of the Bible she wanted and not in full. You can't take a verse or two out and make it into something you want to hear. You have to take it for what it really is.
Sometimes facing the truth and taking responsibility genuinely stinks. But, if we press through, persevere through all of it, God does bless and we do come out not smelling stinky, rather some glorious fragrance. My husband and I still have tough times that we go through, but they are far and few between because whether my husband seeks God or not, I know I am and I stand in the gap for my marriage. I've seen God's blessing and hand continually.
I have praised God through my challenging times, as well as in my blessed times. Praising and worshiping God, getting my soul cleaned along with repentance have been life changing for me. When we repent, we not only forgive, ask for forgiveness, but we turn from what we've done wrong. And after that, you need your soul wounds from those sins healed.
As humans, we are often so messed up with so much junk, so we need to continually come before God to get really cleaned, and the more we do it, the less junk there is left to deal with. We can't threaten God. Oh, God, if you don't make my husband this perfect man, I'm going to stop believing in you!! Who does that hurt? God is not threatened by us. It sounds so childish, but I know many people who have been hurt or disappointed in life threaten because God didn't do things their way, He must not be God at or, or that He doesn't love them. That really is hogwash.
Hopefully and prayerfully, my friend does not choose divorce. But, if she should, I won't judge her, rather just be sad and just continue to pray for her, love her. Awhile back, I let go of the things I don't care about in my husband to the Lord. And if the Lord should choose to change him to be more what I would like, then great. But if not, I will still choose to love my husband and respect him. I am seeing the freedom in letting go and let God. Yes, that is a cliche, but it's true.
I have found that as I let go, God has been changing my husband, but more importantly, I've changed and I've learned to trust God more.
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